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What do you consider the signs of maturity?

Had a talk with DH tonight about whether or not DS is ready to start going to classes at the UUF. I'm not looking to debate whether or not my DS is ready, but interested in what you consider the signs that a child is mature enough to process the material and truly understand it. (also really not interested in the "as long as you live in my house you go to church and believe whether you want to or not" school of thought, so if your answer is along those lines, feel free to move along - we're not trying to convert him to anything, just want him aware of what's out there)

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NotPanicking

Asked by NotPanicking at 1:17 AM on Jun. 2, 2011 in Religious Debate

Level 51 (421,172 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • When my daughter went to Catholic church with my mom, I allowed it because she understood that even though people deliver their words to sound as if they're universal truths, it isn't necessarily so. She went in armed with objectivity, and the ability to remain inconclusive. She was 10. My husband & I would communicate with her afterward also, so that we could evaluate what she had heard, critically, together. After two years of first holy communion classes, I asked her what she thought of the god idea, her response; " Maybe we're all god, trying to realize it."


     

    clarity333

    Answer by clarity333 at 1:37 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • When it comes to religion I'ld say when they comprehend the legal system and laws. Because there similar to religious. Just MO though
    hot-mama86

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 4:36 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • A good place to start would be his attention span.  How long are the classes and how long can he sit still and pay attention?

    beeky

    Answer by beeky at 7:00 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • The ability to think in the abstract doesn't develop until the ages between 7-12. I would not send my child until then, but it can be a hard thing to judge. My 7 year old is getting there. He has finally admitted that Santa, Easter Bunny, et al. are not real and that was a step in the right direction (it shows he can look at the evidence and come to a rational conclusion). But I am still unable to get him to step back and look at things from another's point of view, so he's not ready yet.
    my2.5boys

    Answer by my2.5boys at 7:47 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • – collapse
    I'm curious as to why you feel like it's good to suspend parenting when it comes to religious instruction? You make your child go to school whether he/she wants to or not. You make them bathe. There are a lot of things you make your children do, that they'd rather not. Why would you draw that line on issues pertaining to their souls? Some would argue that this portion is the one area most needing the strong parenting.
    adnilm

    Answer by adnilm at 8:17 AM on Jun. 2, 2011 (hidden) + expand

  • I'm curious as to why you feel like it's good to suspend parenting when it comes to religious instruction?

    I'm curious why you think discussion of esoteric, abstract concepts is "parenting"? Unless you're suggesting that you don't teach morals without religion? Children don't understand astrophysics, philosophy, psychology or economics. Those concepts are no different than religion - they're inherently tied to it. Learning something by rote and parroting it back on command is not the same thing as understanding. We are waiting until he can understand it, not recite it back like a nursery rhyme.
    NotPanicking

    Comment by NotPanicking (original poster) at 8:30 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • I think when they start asking questions and seeking their own answers. Not just following along with what Mom and Dad tell them.


    I don't mean the usual "Why is the sky blue/grass green?" type of questions. I mean questions more to the line of "Why do we believe this way?


    I also think that it would depend on how they can carry on a conversation (Q&A session) about religion. 

    SpiritedWitch

    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 8:41 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • I'm curious why you think discussion of esoteric, abstract concepts is "parenting"? Unless you're suggesting that you don't teach morals without religion? Children don't understand astrophysics, philosophy, psychology or economics. Those concepts are no different than religion - they're inherently tied to it. Learning something by rote and parroting it back on command is not the same thing as understanding. We are waiting until he can understand it, not recite it back like a nursery rhyme.
    >>>
    Understanding comes with time and exposure. If you wait until they can understand the mysteries of the world, you'll both be in the old timer home. Because I know no one, who understands fully
    adnilm

    Answer by adnilm at 8:42 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • Not sure what the UUF is- so if my answer is off, that is why-
    From what you have said previously about your son and his ability to reason and his sense of wonder, I would think he is ready to take another step in learning- seems to me that maturity is not just the child but the family and from what I can see- you appear to be ready to discuss whatever questions will come from a new experience- and it seems to me that he is able to take on new information and process it as his own and draw conclusions from it-
    soyousay

    Answer by soyousay at 9:04 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • Not sure what the UUF is

    Unitarian Fellowship. And thanks for that - we're still discussing it - DH and I always agreed on when we'd introduce it to him, we just didn't think to specify what we each consider "mature enough".
    NotPanicking

    Comment by NotPanicking (original poster) at 2:17 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

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