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My 3 year old son and adoption thinking

I'm not sure if this is in the right place but it is about my son so i figured it would be the best spot

And please don't bash to hard i feel really guilty about this

I love my son to death.. but there are days where everything I do it doesn't feel like enough. Right now I'm living with my mother.. I'm turning 19 on Saturday and I am moving out for the first time next month... I'm scared to death just thinking about moving out myself.. But i also have a 3 year old that needs me.. I don't know what I'm doing at all.. Right now my grandma watches him for free while I work..

I am starting to think i can't take care of my son like a mom should and i want the best for him. But the idea of giving him up repulses me and scares me. I love him but I really am starting to believe what everyone says about teen moms. That we aren't there for our kids and our parents raised them.

I don't know what to do. But how would you go about deciding what is the right thing..

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:11 AM on Jun. 2, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • You need to talk about this with your mom and grandmother. I cannot imagine how hard things are for you, but I don't think adoption is the way to go in your case!! Your little boy needs you and loves you. Some days are going to be overwhelming, but in a few years he will be in school and you willbe able to have a little more time to yourself. I pray that you will find the solution that is best for your family. Good luck and hugs to you:)
    bloomsr

    Answer by bloomsr at 8:16 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • (((Hugs))) You are very mature at 19 for having thoughts like these. My best advice it to talk to someone. Adoption agencies offer services like this for free to moms who are considering placing their child for adoption. It will be a difficult decision for you with the emotions you have surrounding your son. Many people start by making a list of the pros and cons. One thing to consider is that you can choose an open arrangement and stay part of his life.

    JSD24

    Answer by JSD24 at 8:20 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • Moving out on your own is scary but you'll be fine. I'm sure your mom, & g.ma will continue to support & help you. All mom's. at times, feel like they aren't doing enough for their children, especially when they also have to hold down a job. As far as not knowing what you are doing...no one does. Raising a child is pretty much a crap shoot, you just do the best you can & trust your instincts & love them, that's all anyone can really do. I'd bet if you sat down & thought about what you think a mom SHOULD do & then asked yourself what of those things you are not doing, your answer would be nothing. You'd discover that you are doing everything you can to be a good mom. The fact you have these doubts, as everyone does at times, shows that you are a good mom & you are taking care of him the way you should & keeping his welfare as your priority. You'll be fine and so will your son.
    meriana

    Answer by meriana at 8:51 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • You need to seek support through family and friends, only you know if you are truly trying your best. If you know you are then good for you! Your best is all you can do, and you should not beat yourself up over it! It's not that you are young, it's that you are a single parent. If you were 30 and had a child with no father things would be the same way. There is nothing wrong with your family helping you. I was not a teen mom but was a single mom and went through the same thing. I was 30 and lived at home and my mom helped me a lot! So now my oldest is 6 and he has a GREAT relationship with his mom-mom and tells me i am the best mom ever, eve when i yell at him,,lol There is nothing better then being a mom. Do your best, take help from anywhere you can and know it will get would say you should stay with your mom longer to get yourself organized and save a bit, if you are allowed. Good luck! He's lucky to have you.
    JenzAmomOf2

    Answer by JenzAmomOf2 at 9:31 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • Do you have to move out? If your mom is not pushing the issue & is enjoying you and your son being there then maybe you should stay a little longer & get yourself more established. In 2 years your son will start kindergarten & then You can work your schedule with work around his school or Grandma may still be able to help. If you stay at home maybe you will be able to save some money & sock it away to have a nest egg when you do venture out. Family is the best thing for children as long a s you have a loving family dynamic. If there is tension with you & your Mom, then maybe being on your own is the best so your son isnt exposed to the drama. But if love is on your side than i am sure your Mom is willing to have you stay. The only way to know is to have a heart to heart talk, when your son is sleeping, to talk it over with Mom first. Also have a talk with Grandma, is she up 4 the challenge of active preschooler oris she older
    deniselvt

    Answer by deniselvt at 6:22 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

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