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My father as been in the hospital for 3 weeks, my mother has spoken with him only 1 time....

my father is 88 yrs old he has been in the hospital for 3 weeks, he has diharrea for 2 weeks his B/P and electolytes were out of whack, he had been in the hospital for 3 weeks a month before with a blood clot between his stomach and intestine in the artery and had to get a stint.....my mother has spoken with the doctor only once, they do tests, have given him blood etc. is it normal for a doctor to do all these things without someone signing off on it, my father isn't eating he has literally been in bed for 6 to 7 weeks, he has IV's that have his arms swelling...I just feel something isn't right, they live in Florida, my mother doesn't even know any of the doctors treating my father....what can I do to find out whats going on? I am trying to find out if there is anything I can do to get some info....power of attorney or what?????

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StressedOut107

Asked by StressedOut107 at 8:20 AM on Jun. 2, 2011 in Health

Level 9 (312 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • You just need dad to sign a consent form for the doctor to speak with you.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:26 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • I am sorry you are dealing with this. It is so hard, especially if you are long distance.
    If your dad is 88, how old is your mom? My guess is that she is really overwhelmed with all of this. In the last hospital stays of FIL's life (not saying this is the case with your dad) my MIL got more and more withdrawn about talking to doctors and making decisions. Even as he lay in the active stages of dying she wouldn't hold his hand. She left it to me (the DIL), DH and his sister.

    Call the hospital and see what you can find out. Go if you can. You might want to anyway to make sure that mom is taking care of herself, too.
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 8:49 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • When my father was in the hospital out of state i just told them i was his daughter and then told me anything i needed to know. They said as long as i was immediate family i could know. I'd be on a plane in a minute to check on things, and our mother has to be a little more outspoken. Tell her to ask questions, speak to someone in charge, ask her to tell the nurse YOU need to speak with doc ASAP! You don't ever want to say "I shoulda or coulda done this or that! Get answers! Good luck to you and well wishes for your father!
    JenzAmomOf2

    Answer by JenzAmomOf2 at 9:24 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • there is no way they should be able to give your doctor any treatment without consent for every sinlge thing they do unless your mom told them to. Her not being there tells me shes, probably tired and overwhelmed. My mom is ill and stays in the hospital, I go and visit daily for an hour or so, and some days I can't make it as I have a newborn and a 4 year old, things like this can be very stressful on a person. Yes you want to be there for the person but at the same time it is tearing you apart to see them like that. When my mom gets sick my fatcher disappears no one knows where he is. Don't take offense to it, try to talk to her, ask her how shes doing and have her contact the hospital and let them know who you are.
    thelovelymzbre

    Answer by thelovelymzbre at 2:27 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

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