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2 Bumps

Question about mixed faiths and kids

If you and your SO/DH/BF are of different faiths and you have kids together, how did you decide what religion to raise your child/ren in? Are you raising them in your faith, in his faith, are you teaching about both faiths? Or are you not raising them in a religion and letting them choose when they get older?

 
MizLee

Asked by MizLee at 8:33 AM on Jun. 2, 2011 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 29 (41,320 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • DH is Christian, I am atheist. I have no issue if DH wants to take our sons to church, nor do I have an issue if the in laws wants us to attend when we go visit. But I will educate my kids on A LOT of different religions, so they can figure it out for themselves. I will be open about my beliefs, but not belittle someone else for theirs.
    ArmyWifeAshlie

    Answer by ArmyWifeAshlie at 8:43 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • I wouldn't marry someone who wasn't the same religion as me. My beliefs are too important to me to not be able to share them with the person(s) I love the most - my family. When my kids get older, I imagine they will explore and that's fine, but since I'm the parent I teach them my values and beliefs.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:49 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • Letting him choose on his own.
    NotPanicking

    Answer by NotPanicking at 8:34 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • My faith's situation is a bit different. If you marry in the Catholic faith, and one of you is not, the party who is not, agrees to raise the children Catholic.
    I would not marry someone with a different faith. My first marriage was with one of no faith, it was a complete disaster many of which were faith based conflicts. My second husband is of the same faith as I.
    adnilm

    Answer by adnilm at 8:39 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • My ex and I had different faiths and ultimately ended in divorce in part because we didnt see things the same way. Now I am Catholic and my husband is Christian. The kids attend church with me. That is their religion. Once the kids get old enough to drive themselves to another church or make other arrangements they can go to a Christian church if they like. My 17 yr old does that now along with missionary volunteer work with his gf. I would say once they are around 15-16 they can choose for themselves, until then as their parent I choose for them.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 8:41 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • As a child I was made to attend mass every week, until I moved from my parent's home. I didn't resent or hate them for that. When I left home, I dabbled in a number of different faiths before coming back. I'm sure my mom spent long hours praying for me in that time and I'm sure I'll be given the same task when and if my kids decide to be searchers for a time. I am confident that they will eventually come home to their faith. Not because of indoctrination, but because they have been thoroughly taught about their faith and it's doctrines. Each year the instruction is more in depth.
    adnilm

    Answer by adnilm at 8:47 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • Well I think religion needs to be discussed before marriage and kids. JMO.
    RelaxedMom2-3

    Answer by RelaxedMom2-3 at 10:40 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • I was raised Hindu, my husband is Sikh.

    We did not choose our son's religion. He chose his own.My husband and I both are firm believers that each and every individual has their own path to follow.We both believe that each individual develops their own beliefs based on their own life experiences, their own feelings, their own view of the world.etc.Therefore we can not choose someone else's religion/beliefs, the individual must choose their own.Our son of course participated/was involved in both the Hindu and Sikh religion (since my husband and I both are), he was also exposed to/participated in many other religions as well (including: Christianity,Islam, Wicca, Buddhism. just to name a few).This exposure/participation came in the form of:reading the holy/sacred text from other religions, participating with events/holidays/celebrations with friends/family. etc.

    My son (who is an adult) chose the path of the Sikh.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:55 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • That's too bad RosieT, I hope you were able to salvage your relationship with your parents
    adnilm

    Answer by adnilm at 8:56 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • When DH and I got married we had different belif's. When I got pregnant we sat down and talked about it and decided that we would both teach our kid(s) both and they can choose their own path as they grow up. I didnt know anything about my husbands religion (he was wiccan) so I started to look into all of it and learn about it because I want to know what DH would be teaching our child. Turns out I thought it made more sence and I converted. So now we dont worry about it. But I will still teach my son about any other religion if he wants to learn about it and if he wants to go to church then I will take him.
    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 11:07 AM on Jun. 2, 2011