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Eventhough you are sure you're done having babies were you still sad knowing it was your last?

I have 4 kids, 7,5,3 and 2 months. Dh just had a vasectomy because we decided that 4 was enough. We thought we were done at 3, #4 was a surprise! I love snuggling my babies to sleep for the first 3 or so months. I was never as disapointed as I am now that my little man seems to prefer to lay in his bed or swing. Is it because I know that for sure now he is my last?
Me and dh have talked about one day adopting. Before we had our first it was something I wanted to do. Not a baby, a child who is 3 or 4 years old.
So am I mourning (for lack of a better word) all the things I love doing with my babies because it's the last time I'll be able to fall asleep with him laying on my chest? The last time I'll be able to tuck a baby into a carrier and just have him near. The last time I will breastfeed my baby? The last time I will share excitement about the first pee or pooh in the potty?
He is my last baby and it makes me cry. I know he must be the last for health reasons and for mine and dh's sanity.
How do you handle knowing it's your last? Do you have any advise for me? Please be nice too, I'm in a bit of a fragile mood right now.


Asked by AmandaH321 at 10:24 AM on Jun. 2, 2011 in General Parenting

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Answers (18)
  • Yes! I knew she was my last, but it still was very sad.

    Answer by cheekycherub at 11:37 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • No it didn't make me sad. I knew I did not want to have children when I was too old. My husband has been caring for his ailing parents since he was a teen because his mom had him in her 40s. I don't ever want to burden my children like that so I was happy knowing that I would be a young mom.


    Answer by scout_mom at 10:34 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • Part of me is sooo sooo sad about not going to have any more children ( I have 2 now) ... there are times to where I have almost cried because I wanted another baby...

    But then there are times when reality sets in and I realize I just couldnt handle another lol... I just got my youngest to a point to where he doesnt throw fits in public anymore... I just couldnt go through that again lol

    Answer by 2lilbumblebees at 10:38 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • yes i was sad when #4 was born because i knew she was my last.
    it will get better, like right this second i have 3 fighting and a cranky 1yr old, so i am soo happy to be done

    Answer by tiffanyv123 at 10:41 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • We have 5 and my youngest is 10 months. I'm not really sad, but I'm definitely more nostalgic about the things my little one does. But my older ones are 9, 11, and 13 and I like that they are starting to enjoy the things I have always liked doing - more grown up things and it's a lot of fun! They can play my favorite board games now (Sorry and Stratego) instead of CandyLand and Chutes and Ladders, they can go on the big rollercoasters at the amusement park instead of just the merry go round, we can play at the pool all day long instead of coming home to take naps. I try to focus on the fun things we can do with older kids rather than focusing on the fact that we no longer have little ones. And I suppose down the road there will be grandbabies . . .

    Answer by missanc at 10:27 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • DH wants more, I don't particularly, but I still get baby fever. I'm 42 now and I either need to do it or just call it quits.

    Answer by jmpj8107 at 10:28 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • yes it makes me sad- dh had a vas done durin my 3rd pregnancy cause drs said anymore would jepordize my health.and it hurts. knwing that shes almost 1 and i want another one soooooooooooooo bad i cry myself to sleep some nights.

    Answer by sandraberke at 10:29 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • Geeze i havent had my last one yet and you already made me I'd say refocus, don't be sad at what you won't have anymore, be happy for what you will have. Little league, or dance, First kiss, first dance, school accomplishments, graduation, etc.. better things will come! right? lol

    Answer by JenzAmomOf2 at 10:33 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • Yes, I was sad when I knew my youngest was it. I had my tubes tied right after she was born. But 2 fits for our family.

    Answer by ShelbysHope76 at 10:35 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • I'm very sad. I have been for a long time. It was hard to get mine. My youngest is 8, my oldest 25. The last one was a preemie and long story short, the hospital was awful because our insurance basically paid for half the nicu. I missed breastfeeding, I missed the end of the pregnancy, they insisted on a c-section, so I basically missed all of the good things and have felt ripped off. I cry frequently that I know it will never happen again. I have grandchildren, so it makes it harder trying to move to that next phase of my life that I'm not ready for. For you, he can always have it reversed if you change your mind.

    Answer by attap5 at 10:46 AM on Jun. 2, 2011