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2 Bumps

Lazy Husband

I am at my witts ends here. My DH is unemployed, we have NO money. We are starting our own business, and he won't do the anything except play games online. I can't trust him to take care of the kids, because he is unattentive, and I have NO money to send them to daycare. When the business starts, I have to work all day and answer the phone, so getting a 3rd shift or 2nd shift job is out of the question. He did get an ecommerce account yesterday for the business, but thats it. We have been told to get out from the relatives we are living with, and I just don't know what to do, because I am pretty much the sole caregiver to my kids. I don't know if I should leave or not, and if I do my family is a good distance away. I just don't know if there is any hope left.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:27 AM on Jun. 2, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Are the relatives you are living with HIS relatives? If so, have you tried talking to them to see if they can provide any assistance or suggestions? And if that isn't an option, then the next option is to choose what is best for you and your kids. How long have you been married and is this a continuing theme? If so, the past is a pretty good indicator for the future. If this has been his past behavior, then more than likely it will be his future behavior. If you can't trust him to care for your kids, what can you trust him to do? Sometimes the best choices to make are the toughest choices to make. It sounds like he isn't interested in making a decision and has put that ball in your court. Maybe he is too lazy? chicken? or incapable of making a decision, so maybe you need to make it for him, and maybe that is what he wants. If you think there isn't any hope left, then move on...and ask your family to help!
    Lynda-Lou

    Answer by Lynda-Lou at 12:54 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Honestly, if you have to do it all yourself, why do you need or want him around. I would tell him he either gets with the program and gets rid of the stupid video games or you will leave and he's on his own. Good luck (c:
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 10:42 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • Sounds to me like you are doing it alone so why add his laziness to your already overloaded schedule. You would be ridding yourself of your greatest annoyance thereby making your life much less stressful. He either needs to contribute or leave. Give him a list of what is absolutely expected from him and make it clear he either does it or he's gone. Personally I'd just boot him now. Good luck with your business, hope it gets off the ground and is hugely successful.

    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 11:20 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • I did the same for 20 years unfortunately they DO NOT change.............I finally left just over 4 yrs ago and divorced, we sre better friends and the new man in my life was actually sent from GOD, he cooks, does dishes, laundry, mops and all the yard work I am a very lucky lady one of the luckiest around!!! Good luck, things really ARE greener on the other side :)
    buttonlts

    Answer by buttonlts at 10:40 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • You unplug that game now. When he flips out you have that door open for discussion. Tell him how much help you need, why, and when. Tell him to grow up.
    pookiekins34

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 11:17 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • I noticed my DH was lazing about more often, and I sat down and told him how it made me feel. He was pretty receptive, but then again, I'm pretty understanding since my DH works so much and so hard. I am a SAHM and he helps me in a LOT of ways, but does drive me crazy when he doesn't watch the kids as closely as I think he should. You have to remember that dads have a different perspective than we do as mothers. I watch my kids like a hawk, while my dh does not monitor them quite as closely. Sometimes that is just a difference in parenting techniques. As for leaving with no place to go right away, I wouldn't. Talk to your DH about how serious the situation you are in is, and see if you can't get him to man up a little bit.
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 11:20 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • Do you still love him? Other then babysitting is he good with the kids? Does he drink? I guess my point is... Sometimes the moster we know is better then tha monster we don't know. Are there happy times? Could just be stress of the new buss. is getting to you & things really aren't as bad as they seem.
    KrisieK

    Answer by KrisieK at 11:28 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • I am so sorry you are going through this, you must feel so frustrated. Your husband needs to get a job until the business starts. Your with family and your husband is being non productive. If you were living with me I would kick your husband out and allow you and the kids to stay. You really need to have a serious talk with your d/h and hide his video games.

    mommiedear

    Answer by mommiedear at 12:09 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

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