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2 Bumps

Huge momma issues

Ok here is my problem. My mother has asked us to help her move her out of her house. I totally agree with helping her. As a matter of fact everything that we had as kids is still in her house and I know it's my responsibility to get it out. The problem is my mother will take a task that should only take a day to do and drag it out for a month. I really think she has a mild disorder to get everything perfect. Anyways we go over there every day to help her and we have even spent are weekends off over there. I have a 4yr. old and a new baby in the house and I'm not spending the quality time with them. My husband is hounding on me to say something to her about either giving us a weekend off or not doing every little thing she wants us to do ( tape over boxes 3 times before they go in the truck) so we can have time at home too. I grew up learning my mother is the one who took very good care of me and I do whatever she says no questions asked. Do I say something or not.

She has a time limit to move so I can't say I will deal with it later.

 
Kimkh

Asked by Kimkh at 10:45 AM on Jun. 2, 2011 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,476 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I have learned to just go along with the way my Mom wants things done. With that in mind you do have little ones that you have to take care of and spend time with. I would take a bit of time off and just let her know that you have other things going on too.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 10:47 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • As annoying as it may be right now, remember, she is family. Take your children with you. You aren't going to miss quality time with them, but will be teaching them that you help because you love. Quality time isn't sitting on the floor playing with your kids, it's what you are teaching them during that time whether it be work or play. If she has a time limit, it will soon be over. Mom's can be annoying, but just remember, someday YOU are going to be that annoying mom to your grown children.
    attap5

    Answer by attap5 at 10:49 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • If it were your husbands parents would he be so quick to want to say something to them??? This move is probably pretty hard on your mom emotionally and she is looking to control something, unfortunately it is every last detail of the move. As you mentioned you do have a time line, so you know it is not un-ending. If this is not like your mother then be patient and understanding.

    As for time away from your family. It is only a few weekends for someone who has done so much for you and I am sure will continue to give to her grandchildren.
    sipn_mom

    Answer by sipn_mom at 10:57 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • You should be able to explain to her that you need time to do things are home and is there a way you can work things so that you are able to help her and still be there for your family. After all she was a great mom and you want to be great for your family too. Flatery may help!
    AmandaH321

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 10:48 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • I understand the respect you have for your mom, and I understand wanting to do things "her" way. However, you too deserve some respect. You have a life as well, and even though you feel it is your responsibility to help, there are some boundaries that you can and should draw. If you and your mom have a close relationship, she will understand, and love you anyway. I do think you should talk to her, and let her know you are trying to expedite the process and you have some suggestions that will help it move along. Also, let her know you need some time to spend with your children as well, and since there is a time constraint, getting the process expedited helps everyone!
    Lynda-Lou

    Answer by Lynda-Lou at 10:53 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • Ive learn the hard way to say no to my mom. Bak then it was wat ever shes say. Even when I married I still dud wat mommy say. Well not no more. Actually I dont even talk to her. U have to tell het u only have so much u can do then go himr. Ur a wife and mom now u have to oay attention to them first. Then wat about u??? Wheres u time????. Sorry mom cant tell how things go. U have to put ur foit down.
    Autiziumom

    Answer by Autiziumom at 2:54 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • I would tell her that you can help on Saturdays but not on Sundays. Tell her that you will do it her way if she wants, or she can assign you a room to sort and pack or whatever and you can do it your way which might be faster. You can't make her ok with doing things a different way, but you can set some boundaries on the amount of time you are willing to sacrifice so that things can be done to her standards. I don't think it's unreasonable to set some limits and acknowledge the fact that you have other obligations to consider. Good luck.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 4:38 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

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