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4 Bumps

Would u change who u are for others to like u?

someone i work for always uses his charm as he calls it to get what he wants and to earn everyones trust. i am not friendly so everyone i talk to & befriend i genuinely like & it also takes me a little longer than him. he doesn't say anything to me at all because i refuse to be fake which he thinks is uncool. he also thinks being my direct supervisor i should really kiss his ass but i don't. it's just not who i am... he is disrespectful & controlling towards me all the time so i ignore him. i am in army so it's not much i can do. we don't really have rights like civilians.


Asked by mrsary at 10:57 AM on Jun. 2, 2011 in Money & Work

Level 19 (7,225 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I found that the more you try to "change" urself for other ppl the more depressed you get. I figure.... It's better 2b hated for who u r, then be loved for who ur not :)

    Answer by KrisieK at 11:24 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • Nope - and hang in there kiddo - you will run into quite a few characters like your boss during your military career.

    Answer by tasches at 10:59 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • I dont change who I am but I can charm people if I need to. I dont think that is changing who I am, its using my assets and personality to get what I need.

    Answer by gemgem at 11:00 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • I am who I am. take it or leave it. It takes too much energy to be someone who you are not. Just do your Job the best you can & ignore his arrogance. Just smile & say "FU" under your breath. Remember, if you can see right through him, others can too. Be nothing but professional & there is nothing he can do. GL! By the way, I worked in a Correctional Facility for 13 years with ALL men so I know how you feel. Be strong!

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 11:04 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • Heck no, I won't change for anyone but myself, I am who I am if they don't like me than it is their problem not mine!!

    Answer by momto4girzls at 2:16 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • Just be yourself!! I agree with Krisie. It never works for long to try to be someone you are not. Hang i there and stay strong!!!

    Answer by mkdirector2011 at 2:24 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • I don't think anyone should be "fake". BUT with that said I do believe that some people hide behind being "real" to just be rude.

    Being polite and speaking to people is not being fake. You do not have to be someones best friend to say hello and ask them how their day is.

    I agree with you in taking time to get to know a person and that it is best to stay away from people that you don't get along with. Unfortunately for you the military if very different place and you do have to play the game a bit more.

    Answer by sipn_mom at 11:05 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • I would change my almost instant and obvious annoyance for things that irritate me.

    Answer by meooma at 11:05 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • Never. I am who I am and if people don't like it, they can suck it!! One of the worst parts of my military career was playing the game. I even had a chief tell me I needed to be more political if I wanted an end of tour award. Needless to say, I did not get that award! I never felt right trying to be someone I was not. The military is one place where you cannot just do your job and people will leave you alone.

    Answer by Izsarejman at 11:11 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • gemgem I am just not comfortable doing that. i have tried but it's not me. he describes how he wants me to be and he told me i need to change if i want to make it in the army & i don't believe that at all!! it's worked the past 8 1.2 years i've been in so far! after all he is the one who went to military jail for dishonesty. i don't want to end up like that. A LOT OF MILITARY MEN don't like me. i am the typical strong single mom, who not only doesn't take shit from anyone but also doing what i have to do to progress and not looking for a man to support me (although it would be nice, lol).

    Comment by mrsary (original poster) at 11:06 AM on Jun. 2, 2011