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2 Bumps

How do you know??

About a year ago I busted my husband on all kinds of porn, affair & hindden email accounts. He even went to the extent of buying another cell phone.
My question is how do you know if it stopped. I watch our phone bill like a hawk. His internet usage continues to sky rocket at times & I wonder if I'm just being stupid or paranoid?? I've confronted him & of course he says he isn't doing anything???

Answer Question
 
KrisieK

Asked by KrisieK at 12:08 PM on Jun. 2, 2011 in Relationships

Level 5 (94 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Been there, done that. My dh was on adultfriendfinder.com for years. He would stay up late at night and chat with whoever. He did have an affair with a woman who hated me and used him to try to ruin my life. He looked at porn for years. He had a myspace account with nothing but sleazy women looking for sex, and some teenage girls as well. It seemed that once we got through one thing, things would get good again, then it would start all over. He, due to his parents, thinks he can do whatever he wants and no one should do anything about it. His dad even told him to withdraw all his money from the bank when I learned of the affair. His dad thought that if there was no money in the bank, that I would get nothing if we divorced. STUPID!! After the last thing, I was done. He knew that things would HAVE to change or we were over. I do believe he saw that it was time to change.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • WOW, I don't think you can really be sure. I do know f there is no trust...what is the point?
    mkdirector2011

    Answer by mkdirector2011 at 12:19 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • cont... A lot of people if they knew my situation would think I was stupid for staying. I made promises when I married him, and I plan on keeping them. I will never trust him completely again. He knows this and it bothers him, but you cannot blame me. He has had to learn that he is not the center of the universe and there are other people he needs to put first, me and our children.
    We tried counceling a couple of times and it did not help, one even said his affair was no big deal....
    So, I understand why you feel the way you do. It may take a lot of time to move on, he needs to be respectful to you and your relationship. You really need to think long and hard if you want to stay and he needs to change if your marriage will ever work.
    I wish you the best, and do what your heart tells you to, not anyone else!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:23 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • I wouldn't have been able to give him another chance.. "Once a cheater, Always a cheater"
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 1:10 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • You don't know until the proof hits you in the face...and apparently, something is catching your attention.
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 1:22 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • Depends on why he cheated in the first place. Did you guys go to counseling after you found out? There is obviously something not right in the relationship? I'd have to wonder also but I'd also have made him go to counseling if I wanted to save the marriage.
    itsmesteph11

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 2:05 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • sounds like ur husband has so many issues! He obviously needs help.Counseling might help u guys save the marriage.But if u clearly see some signs that he is not changing @ least no "effort' what so ever on his behalf. Then u probably have 2 consider ur self & ur children.Good luck!
    inahan

    Answer by inahan at 2:14 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • He claims he never actuall met up with anyone one. Then again he is the type that doesn't admit to anything unless he is back n2 a corner. I was done when I found them for the third time about a year ago. Since I'm a stay home mother I made him sleep on the couch & we even worked out a rate of pay for what I did around the house. This went on for almost 5 months. He wanted me to go to counseling & I told him it was over & pointless. To my suprise he went to our pastor & started counseling himself. Got 2b pretty hard to go to your pastor & admit you have an addiction to porn. He went by himself for a month & a half. Then once I seen he was he really was trying & started going with him. We went & completed our counseling. Soo does this change anyones opinion??
    KrisieK

    Comment by KrisieK (original poster) at 6:46 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

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