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Combined Family Blues

I was married October of 2007 to a man who is 8 years older than me; we've both been married before-he has 2 children (boy-9 and girl-6) and I have one child who is 4. My child is hyperactive---nothing abnormal for a 4 year old. When my husband and I are together we have a blast but when it comes to the kids--way different! He is very strick on my child who I have full custody of (spends 2 weekends w/his father out of the month) and the same treatment is not given towards his 2 kids who we have once a week and two weekends of the month. His children can be 'kids' but the majority of the time they are very calm children so this makes my little guy look like the odd ball. In the past 6 months I feel all we've done is argue about how he treats my son.....I am sooooo confused on what to do. Here is this man that I love very much---but my son will always come first!!!! Anyone out there have any advice???

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:42 PM on Dec. 9, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • well I dont think its good to put a child before the person your married to and this is why. the man you marry is supposed to be your other half to make you whole hes supposed to be your equal but it could be different for me since Im marrying my babys father, but you both need to sit down no yelling and come to a reasoning tell him what exactly you dont like about him yelling at your son
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:46 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • he needs to treat each kid the same, and reguardless ALWAYS put your child first.
    jbirchard

    Answer by jbirchard at 4:53 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • how long did you know him before you were married? did you always know he was this way towards your son?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:56 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • we knew each other for about a year before dating; then dated for about 5 months prior to eloping. He was great with my son prior to our marriage---different treatment is not a mystery to him...he has said these exact words "I will be more strick on your son because he's here all the time and he's hyper, I won't discipline my children equally because they don't act the same as your son and I only have them 1 day a week and every other weekend"
    jhhess

    Answer by jhhess at 5:02 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • Well, then you have your answer. There is nothing you CAN do. Either deal with it or don't. I would not jeapordize my children for anything in this world.
    Crazy-Steph

    Answer by Crazy-Steph at 5:24 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • Is this just a normal 4 year old or should your son be evaluated for possible medication. I'm not trying to be rude but this could help solve your problem. As far as discipline you both have to agree and you both have to back each other up, if he see's you challenging your husband this could also be his reason for bad behavior...kids realize when there is no stability in how you 2 discipline. Also, he has to be fair. If each kid did the same thing wrong they have to be punished equally. Time out for 4 mins for your son and 6 and 9 mins for the other two!
    britni11

    Answer by britni11 at 5:57 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • cont! Your husband can't say oh you have to sit in time out but my kids don't because I don't get to see them as much as I do your son! Maybe you 2 should go to counseling and try to figure out how you can treat all kids fair. Kids also act up when they think the others are being favored! It's not fair to him! If anything the other kids are older and should be held accountable more for their actions
    britni11

    Answer by britni11 at 5:57 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

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