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Family Issues...

I hate no one, except my MIL and FIL. She has done and said a lot of things to me in the last 2 years that have made me feel worthless,as well as turn their whole family against me,I am so tired of her pity games,I want nothing to do with any of my hubbies family anymore,and neither does he.The thing is he has tried telling them off, because they refuse to say that they have done wrong or apologize to me, I have even tried talking to her,but instead of listening or apoligizing,they yell and get irate and have said,"so what, you are going to give up this family for her and the baby?" They make him feel like sh*t too, they have messed up our relationship pretty good,and the only time we fight is about them..I am so mentally exausted, if it weren't for my daughter I wouldnt let them come over, but I want to get her away from it too, they are not good people, how do I deal with this? Help me.

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laurenparent

Asked by laurenparent at 5:29 PM on Dec. 9, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (8)
  • My mil is the same way and my dh told her to get lost. He wont go over anymore and now she has to ask me to see her grandkids. That really changed her attitude lol. Before that she badmouthed me, yelled at me, and was plain evil and I think its bc I was taking her baby from her in her eyes. You really to stay sane need to just not deal with them anymore. Tell your dh hes free to take the child to her home but you wont have her in your home until she apologizes and shows genuine change. You married him not her. You dont owe her anything.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 5:33 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • I can't stand my husbands family...but I deal with them for him and our son...if it's becoming that much of a problem to let them in your lives...cut them out. We're only going to see his family one more time (because he'll feel guilty if he doesn't) and then we're cutting our losses as well. If they can't be nice to you and your family you don't need them. No one's family members should be causing so much drama that you fight over it. Get your husband to back you up no this and tell them until they can be nice and act like family they will no longer be a part of your lives. My husbands grandma sent him a letter saying something stupid about how I think he's only gonna have one wife and one son but that will never be the case...whatever! he may not only have one son...but he will only have one wife and that is for sure! I hate stupid people that cause drama...an she say's she's a christian! Whatever!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:36 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • You shouldn't let them affect your relationship with your hubby, have you tried being laying the peacekeeper? You shouldn't force them to apologize or admit any wrong doing, this could be why they have built up a wall towards you. I think it's great you allow them to see you son even though they disrespect you. If they have to come over, tell them you want them to respect your home and not argue or cause conflict in the house. Any issues they have with you should be resolved at a later time when the kids are not around. Im not saying to have to talk to them and be friends, just keep the convo's short and when they become negative, change the subject or excuse yourself and leave the room. Encourage dialogue between your hubby and his parents, ask him to do the same things Ive mentioned for you to do and see if that helps.
    TAG2.0

    Answer by TAG2.0 at 5:36 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • Wow, anonymous, our families sound the same! My hubbies Grandma is in on this little game that his mom is playing too...They like to threaten him, like we got threatened by his dad that if we didn't go to thanksgiving at their house, pretty much they were going to be like 'look see, she wont let us see our son and grandchild...' to his family that was there. And his grandma threatened him that she was going to see my 'true' colors if we didnt come to their x-mas party... The reason why I dont take my child to their house is because I dont feel comfertable there, and they are smokers, my baby is only 2 months old...
    laurenparent

    Answer by laurenparent at 6:09 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • even if she was 10 I wouldnt take her around smoke. Everyone in their family smokes, so its hard to take her to any of his relatives homes. OH! I just want to scream sometimes. And gemgem, I think that the whole taking her baby away is part of it...but she didnt have to make me feel like I am worthless you know? When I moved back here from FL to be with my hubby, I was looking for a job, and after 2 weeks of looking with no luck, she called me one day and told me that she saw a sign outside taco bell, and they were hiring, in that snooty little voice of hers.I have a college degree, and she knows this! And she just insulted me like that! Now, its that I am not a good mother, my child crys all the time and its MY fault...I am so sick of it. I don't understand how people can be so evil and just plain ignorant.
    laurenparent

    Answer by laurenparent at 6:10 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • I KNOW SOME PEOPLE THAT JUST WANT IT THERE WAY AND WILL TRY TO BRAINWASH PEOPLE TO GET IT AND THEY ARE ALSO CALLING THEMSELFS CHRISTIANS JUST REMEMBER GOD IS WATCHING.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:23 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • My MIL and two SILs were horrible to me. Some of the things they did and said still makes me sick to my stomach. They even went as far to talk trash about me to everyone because I went to a help at a charity event that had been planned for months; instead of a family get together that was out of the blue. They tried to get my DH to dump me and turn all of his friends and family against me. I guess it bothers me because I am a good person and they made me out to be a monster. All of it was lies, including saying that I was only looking for a sugar daddy... I made more than he did!!

    I still have to deal with them all the time because my DH has forgiven them. I just suck it up and deal with it. When they leave, I call my mom and we laugh about how absolutely crazy they all are. The only reason I deal with them is for my DH and my kids. I remind myself that my kids will thank me when they are older.
    sammygrl77

    Answer by sammygrl77 at 6:40 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • I feel better knowing that I am not the only one... I talk to my mom everytime they come over too and do the same thing...laugh it all off, well try to, but you know it never really goes away. Everything just adds up, and I usually end up crying for a whole 24 hours sometimes just to be able to deal with it. I just can't see how people can make other peoples lives so miserable! I know my mom tells me that I let them bother me too much, but its like, I can only take so much! I think we should make a support group for women on here that have horrible in-laws, and especially mother in laws... I know it would help me out so much! I know that some people, myself included just need to vent sometimes, and get it off of their chest.
    laurenparent

    Answer by laurenparent at 9:00 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

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