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Depressed and sad. mostly overwhelmed and alone.

DH is out of town until Sunday night for a family golf trip (he, his dad, brother and a few other guys). I am stuck at home with our 2 kids (3 1/2 and 15 months). I have not had a minute away from the kids in WEEKS. My husband does not care. I work 1-2 nights a week and apparently, that should be enough time for me. This past weekend I said that I wanted to go run a few errands without the kids. He rolled over and took a nap (seriously!).

My son doesn't listen to anything I say anymore. I feel like I am battling him from the minute I wake up until he goes to sleep. Nothing I do, recommend, or offer him is good enough or right. I try not to cave into his sassy demands, but some days it gets to be too hard. My 15 month old daughter is very active and loud. She is a boisterous personality and this, coupled with my son, drives me to the edge of my patience on an almost daily basis.

I have the crappy car while dh is out of town. This means we cannot travel out of town or go on roads that are over 55mph speed limits (I do not plan to drive much at all this weekend...).

I guess I just need some encouragement. I have no friends to sympathize with me or stop by to visit. They are all childless and spend their time at the bar (they have all been out of my life since I became preg with ds in 2007).

Any kind words and advice is very appreciated. Thank you for your input.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:35 PM on Jun. 2, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I'm sorry ur feeling that way......hugs for u! Listen doll if I've learned something about being a mother it's that u r sooooooooo last, and no one really cares, u r the one that keeps it all together and keeps the family running, everything is on ur shoulders even if u have a helping husband u r the ''glue'' of the family! Don't feel bad, being a mom is a hard job, some days r great and some days not so much, but when it all comes down to it, it's for the best thing in the world, ur children! Ur hubby on the other hand sounds a smudge selfish, and it sounds like u need to have a come to Jesus with him! Tell him how u feel and let him know that parenthood like marriage is a shared responsibility and requires a team effort.
    PANZONSMOM

    Answer by PANZONSMOM at 1:49 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Hang in there momma we all go through rough patches. I know it sucks, but be thankful for what you have there are others who wish that was the worst of their problems. Look at the ppl of Joplin.
    RedDahlia82

    Answer by RedDahlia82 at 8:39 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • Hon don't fret we've all been in your shoe's and well frankly I'm here if you need a shoulder to cry on you can message me I'll be glad to talk to you!!!
    traren

    Answer by traren at 8:38 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • looks like you need a you time weekend even if all you do is leave your DH with the kids while you go get a pedicure!! I think if he can take a guys only weekend you can take a day off too ! encourage him to be more active start sharing the raising of your children if he flat out refuses then get a sitter. take up a hobby take a class at a local college anything where you get some you time your kids deserve a happy mommy and you deserve to be happy too!!!

    traren

    Answer by traren at 8:55 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • I go through the same thing with my dh. You are not alone. I'm a SAHM and sometimes I get tired of spending every minute with dd. I love her to death, but sometimes I need time to myself. DH can leave to go do anything he wants to anytime, but I can't . I'm here too if you want to talk.


    hugs

    Ashoonik

    Answer by Ashoonik at 8:56 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • Hang in there honey--there are so many of us who have been there--when my kids were 3 and 1 I was a single mother in charge 24/7 and it got me to my last nerve on many occaisons. You are not alone. We are here and we hear you. I know not everyone is comfortable with church but I have just moved to a new town and have found wonderful loving and accepting friends at church. And churches have nurseries to give you a little break from the babies while you are there. And even a grouchy husband would have a hard time objecting to your going to church if he doesn't even have to babysit. You need to reach out and make new friends who don't hang in bars. Take the kids to the same park every sunny day and you will meet other Moms doing the same thing.
    blackisbetter

    Answer by blackisbetter at 9:03 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • I'm so sorry for you. I know how you feel, went through it recently. You know you will come out of this rut and get back into the norm but there's really no comfort in that. Big hugs. I wish you had some mommy friends to talk with. Have you not met any other mom's since you had your kids? I would recommend trying to find a drop in play centre or church in the area, they often have mom and baby/kid groups. If all else fails try going to differnt parks now that the weather is nicer and just be friendly to other mom's. It may take some time but you may eventually find yourself with a good group of support moms. Best of luck and I hope you have a great weekend.
    One of my tricks I do when I find I'm getting too frustrated with the kids is I color on them. Crayola washable markers before bath time. They love it and it's hard to stay upset when you're looking at your kid with a goofy drawing on them. Let them color you too!
    AmandaH321

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 9:08 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • I know. I do feel very concieded and like a cry baby. I know that there are terrible situations all over the world and I am fortunate to be in a loving relationship with my 2 beautiful and healthy children. I just wish I could have a break- ever. I am not a rock, I am a woman ttc #3 with no luck. I feel like a loser and feel bad for snapping on my kids randomly when all they are trying to do is ask me a question or play with me. I feel like something is wrong with me because my husband barely talks to me most nights. He plays on his I-phone, watches TV, or plays a video game. It is hard to feel romantic when I've barely been talked to by someone who isn't a child all day. I am angry and feel alone. I just need to vent but don't have any "real" people to vent to. Holding everything inside for years and years is not healthy, but I can usually deal with it. Some days I get really down, and this week has been a doozy.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:45 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • Thanks for all the uplifting advice and words. I have tried many different things to try to meet moms. We have been in play groups through the family resource center, joined a group on meetup.com, we go to the park/children's museum/indoor sports center or mall play area just about every day. I do not know why I have had such difficulties finding new mom friends. I think I do have some issues with losing all of my "friends" when I became pregnant. I have always been very social and feel like I am a good friend to have- I try to put myself out there. I know that I will make friends eventually- it is just hard right now when I can't carry on a conversation for more than a few minutes before I have to chase after a kid:)
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:46 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • It's super hard when your kids are young. But, please don't take this wrong. You sound depressed, like clinically. You do need time for yourself, but please, talk to your doctor and/or a therapist. Get some help. It's not right to be sad all of the time, so if you are, care for yourself so that you can be your best. You got a few depending on you, you know?

    Also, don't let that 3 yo get your goat! People say 2 is terrible, but 3, when they are so verbal, oh it can be trying! I used to put myself in time out sometimes. Just don't engage with them, don't argue, don't talk as much. He will notice a difference in you and stop being so trying. And put your foot down with your husband and work out a schedule where you have a night off, from work and kids! Get a sitter so you can go out if you have too! Take care of your family! It's so hard, but so worth it and you can do it! Hang in there mama, it gets better!
    dwmom2008

    Answer by dwmom2008 at 10:42 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

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