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How do you tell your mom to stop trying to rule your life?

I have my own family, but my mother expects me to drop everything and come home to help her. She takes on these huge projects and I am supposed to help. I always have in the past but with the economy money sometimes gets a little tight and I unable to just drive the 300 miles to get to see her at the drop of a hat.

She has begun to tell me that my husband (who helps her out alot) is abusing me. Of course he is not. She also tells me that I am a bad mother. My daughter is in camp now, and is also involved in church. We have a full life at home. If I dont do exactly as she asks, she hangs up the phone on me. When I am there she speaks to me so terribly.

I love my mother so much, how do you tell your mother to stop trying to rule your life?

Answer Question
 
35yoamom

Asked by 35yoamom at 8:39 PM on Jun. 2, 2011 in Relationships

Level 20 (10,016 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • It may be hard and your mom probably won't take it well but tell her how you're feeling. Tell her that you love her and you like helping her but with the money it costs to travel to her and how she talks to you makes the time you have together terrible. Although a word other than terrible would be more appropriate.
    Good luck.
    AmandaH321

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 8:59 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • I understand your gripe, I have a mother very similar! I've confronted my mother, you name it , I've tried and nothing works. the only thing I Could suggest is to be very honest with her and let her know how she is affecting your life and if it doesn't stop then your gonna have to distance yourself from her even more, this is what I ended up doing with my mother and it has helped some. That's if your willing to try it and stick with it. It's not an easy thing, it does scar you in more ways than one! Best of luck to you!

    anichols1

    Answer by anichols1 at 8:59 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • Yes I have a relative that would like to stay at my mother's house instead of a hotel. I called my mother and told her that the cousin would be calling to ask if she can stay at the house with her. Mom took a deep excited breath and said that it was okay. But when I told her that we wold then be staying at a nearby hotel (where the rest of the reunion will be staying) she got very angry and hung up the phone. I hate it when she hangs up the phone on me. Tomorrow I will be going down to go to a wedding with her. Then the next turning back around for the reunion. Its so much!
    35yoamom

    Comment by 35yoamom (original poster) at 9:50 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

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