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I have a major fear and me and my husband fight about it....

I am terrified of getting in a car accident when someone else is driving. When I was little a semi-truck hit us and by some miracle, we survived with just scratches. My dad, who is now a retired cop and you would think he knew better, used to drive drunk all the time, swerving and almost hitting cars, and then once we got into a car accident on a bridge and almost went off. Then, my ex-husband drove my daughter and I off an embankment trying to kill us (yes, I left him at that point). I just got married yesterday. I usually drive because he knows it's a huge issue to me. Today he drove and I was in such a panic I was in tears. I've been in therapy for this, I just don't know what to do. He got mad at me--he's a very sweet, wonderful guy and I'm sure I looked like an idiot, just crying while he drove but I don't know what to do. My husband is a very safe driver, he does it for a living but I can't handle it. Anyone ever have a similar problem and how did you handle it?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:15 PM on Jun. 2, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I'm sorry you've had such bad experiences but your DH is just going to have to understand that you've been traumatized and that is something that's just not going to go away go back to counseling and get some more help until then you drive if he truly loves you he'll understand and let you.


    Answer by traren at 9:21 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • You need to remeber too how frustrating it can be for the person (in your case dh) who has to live with someone with such a fear. I'm not saying this to bash you. It can be hard on the person who has to watch their loved one not trust them and deal with this fear. I'm sure your dh understands and loves you very much I'm sure you'll get past this.

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 9:29 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • I can really understand your fear. Have you explained it in this much detail (or more ) to your current husband. He may just not understand and think you just don't trust him.

    Answer by blackisbetter at 9:18 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • He went to play golf. I sent him a text explaining why I get so upset. He told me that he's a very safe driver and much better than me. I told him that I know he is safe but he just needs to understand my fears. He said I need to have faith and trust in him. He truly doesn't get it.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:22 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • my ex was driving 3 years ago and the road was wet and i told him to slow down he did but it was just wet the breaks locked up and we slid head on into a Gravel truck luckly i was just bruised and sore he got burns on his lips from the air bag. now i have issues riding in the car with anyone i have to have control of the car to be comfortable but when i ride with my husband i try to distract myself by lookin out the window or talkin to him not paying attention to the road ahead and when i get freaked out i try to control my breathing that helps me. i hope it gets better

    Answer by nikki8272010 at 9:24 PM on Jun. 2, 2011