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How do I handle this

So my daughter is smoking pot,she's only 13 and a lot of her friends do it to. What can I do to help her to get her off that road. I know it's gonna be a choice she needs to make to change. I'm trying to start out with not letting her go anywhere unless an adult is present,I'm worried that she will just sneak out and get onto trouble anyways,she's snuck out recently. I could make her summer miserable and not let her out,or just drug test her each month and let her out under the assumption that she will know that if she tests positive I will come on her like a vicious mama. I got rid of the friends on facebook that allow their kids to smoke pot in their homes. I told my daughter its time to get new friends. She keeps telling me she doesn't smoke pot but her friends are telling me she does it all the time,these are friends that have been their when she has done it. I told my daughter she needs to be honest and we'll start over with a clean slate and she can work on building trust. How do I get her to admit what she's done? I want to help her make a better life for herself,she is so smart and she is wasting her life away.


Asked by MarGeee at 12:09 AM on Jun. 3, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 20 (9,059 Credits)
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Answers (21)
  • Get some counseling for her, mom. Pot nowadays is not like the pot back in the day - kids don't know where it is coming from, what's in it, etc., and you need to find out what's on her mind - is something bothering her, is it peer pressure, etc. A professional can help determine. Check with the local Boys/Girls Club, your church/pastor/priest, or any other organization of that type for different programs available. In the meantime, try to get her involved/interested in sporting activity, etc, and keep talking to her about why this is not a good path for her to be on. Keep the drug testing and all the other controls in place (parent/adult around at all times, taking away privileges) - you're doing the right thing. GL - I know it is stressful, but hang in there. If you believe in prayer - pray, pray, pray.

    Answer by pocmom at 12:49 AM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • Taking everything away from her will not solve the problems. Deal with the issues on why she's smoking pot. There has to be a reason why she feels that she needs to smoke pot. taking away her cell phone and locking down her other electronics will not get the results you want, infact it will make her pull away more from you. I'm not saying that she shouldn't have a consequence for her actions but just taking away her stuff without solving the "real issue" will only make the problem worse. You and your daughter should spend more time together and to find out what's going on in her world where she feels the need to use "drugs" to escape from life...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 12:59 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • hmmm....thats a hard question to answer. when you have tried to talk to her about it what does she say?

    Answer by MamaSusieQ045 at 12:15 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • she's trying to be innocent,she says it never happened.

    Comment by MarGeee (original poster) at 12:16 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Id start by taking away her cell, tv, computer for lying.....

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 12:16 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • I took the computer away

    Comment by MarGeee (original poster) at 12:17 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • I put locks on my cell phones

    Comment by MarGeee (original poster) at 12:18 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • ground her; take away her favorite electronics EVERYTHING if you catch her with anything say a stereo she is listening to in her bedroom cut the cord (you can fix it with wire cutters and electrical tape. obviously she is lying to you and is showing you no respect i would show her no respect and give her nothing "extra" oh dang it sorry id rather get a pedi with the ten dollars i was gonna give you to go to the movies darn it! and then i would take her with me and make her sit and watch me get a pedicure with that "extra" money

    Answer by tayrebe2809 at 12:19 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • wow this is a tough one! My daughter is 13 finishing 8th grade and pot seems to be a hugh problem at her middle school. My daughter hangs out with a great group of kids, but I do think she has one friend who I think smokes it. It seems to be the cool thing to do, but pot leads to harder drugs. Kids at my daughter's school have also been caught with alcohol. I would buy the drug test and if your daughter appears high test her. I would also periodically search her room. I would also check her purse or school bag. I find it shocking that her friends have told you she does this. So they are all standing around watching her smoke it and they are not? Your daughter is 13 this is not a choice you can let her make. You need to step up and be a parent. If it means not letting her out of your sight then do it.

    Answer by jcm62497 at 7:36 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • I'd take everything from her. Toss her room. Clean out her backpack, clean out her purse. She's 13 years old and has not earned trust or privacy by acting like she has. No more going to a friend's house. They can come to your house and be under constant adult supervision. No computer, no cell phone, no TV, no music.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 7:50 AM on Jun. 3, 2011