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Failure as a parent

I am a single mother and full time student graduating next year, hoping to get into graduate school. I love my baby to death and would do anything for her but I can't do anything to make her listen and I feel like a failure!!! She is developmentally on track and cute as pie around others and those people make me feel like the worst mother ever! The longest I have ever left her was for 10 hours when my c-section scar ruptured.

I feel so alone because every mother I talk to either smiles in pity or acts like my child is the crazy one-why r mothers so afraid to be honest! Being a parent is the hardest job in the world-why do so many mothers act like their kids are fine? Any help is grateful!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:05 AM on Jun. 3, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (6)
  • You are NOT a failure. I can't really say more without understanding the situation better, but you love your daughter and want the best for her - therefore, you are not, in any way, shape, or form, a failure!! We all struggle with raising our kids, and especially around the preschool age it can be nearly impossible to get them to listen. (Trust me, I am going through it with my 4yo DD right now. I feel like I talk myself blue in the face every single day, and I am exhausted by lunchtime!!) You are not alone, and you are not doing things "wrong". Any mothers who act like they have no problems whatsoever with their kids are LYING. Keep your chin up, mama!!

    Answer by aliceryannesmom at 1:19 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Isn't weird how it's always women who are awful to other women? We are suppose to be allies and help each other out. Pity that it doesn't work that way. Find a good circle of friends who support you.

    Answer by kbakeman at 1:23 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • There must be something about 4 year-olds! My advice would be to just keep talking and consistantly reinforce the things you are telling her. Also, I found with my DD, if I make a CONCERTED effort to REALLY listen when she talks (which is a LOT), then by my showing her the right way to listen, she mimicks that behavior right back to me. Start having her repeat key phrases back to you -- and KEEP IT SIMPLE! If my sentence or advice to my DD is too long, then I lose her attention and the lesson is lost.

    Answer by BaileysMom476 at 1:49 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • my 3 year old is at that exact same stage ! it's exhausting & difficult to feel out of control...

    Answer by ZoeyMariah. at 3:08 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • You are NOT a failure at all! I know exactly how you feel - you are not alone or a failure!!! Sounds like you also have a "Spirited" child- there are some groups here on cafe mom for parents with kiddos like ours and they are VERY helpful!!!

    Answer by joisie1978 at 1:20 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Thank you so much for your understanding answers! It's nice to have support during the toddler years! I will continue being consistent and keep my adorable spirited daughter on the right track.
    Thanks again everyone

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:57 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

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