Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

UGH! Child support help PLEASE!!!

I'll make a SUPER LONG story short. My son's father owes me over $4000 in back child support. And recently he got a letter in the mail saying he couldn't get his fishing license because of it. He called me today saying he wants to go to court tomorrow so we can agree on him paying a lowsy $50 a week. I was gonna do it, then my mom kinda put some sense into my head and said he probably got a letter in the mail saying his drivers license would be taken away and he's probably trying to pay the minimum so that doesn't happen. which is a very good possibility. Im desperate for money, which is why i was going to do it, but now im not sure. what do you ladies think??

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:10 AM on Jun. 3, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (9)
  • As far as I understand(my mother is going through this with my father) the court would require you to give up the rest of the money(4000) in order for him to get off. Unless he make a lump sum payment(more than 50). DO NOT DO IT! You deserve that money, he needs to be responsible and pay his debt to you, he should be providing for his child.

    My mother is still owed 6000 in back child support from my father, who can't get a passport from it and if he returns to our home state he will be arrested(warrant). He tried the same thing and the Child support director told her not to do it, that if he really wants his liscense/passport enough he can pay the back child support. HE got himself into this not you, its not too much to ask that he pay for his child's needs.

    good luck, stay strong, and listen to your mother LOl

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 1:14 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • depends on how he treats you and your son. He can't pop out 4000. that he's behind and he can't work if he doesn't have a license or goes to jail.... so either way, your still gonna be broke. Does he do things with the child, see him, etc. If not then do your thing, but if he too is struggling then you will only make it worse to where he won't be working with no license. He needs to be helping more I agree, but he cant work from jail and you surely wont get nothing that way.

    Answer by kkbird at 1:19 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • You need to call and talk to your local child support department. If he is getting CS papers in the mail so should you. I use to call every 30 days on my oldest daughter's father. We now get payments regularly 4 times a month.

    Answer by alboston at 1:47 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Don't let him off that easily! He was man enough to reproduce; he should be man enough to help take care of his responsibilities!


    Answer by Mom_Of_3_Angelz at 2:34 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • don't do it honey. they will do or try anything to get out of living up to their responsiblities. do not do what he wants you to do. this is his responsiblity to support his child as well as you are. do not let him walk away just because he wants to go fishing with his buddies. no way $50 a week. no way. just stand your ground.

    Answer by lambdarose at 6:46 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • No way. The court decided my ex couldn't afford to pay what he was behind so he only has to pay $25/mo. Our daughter will be over 25 by the time he gets it paid! What good does $25 do? If your ex wants to fish bad enough then he'll find a way to pay his debts.

    Answer by CometGirl at 8:45 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Don't do it. How much do you put in raising your child? Realize this, if you didn't make sure your children had what they needed, they would take them away and charge you with neglect. Why is it fair the non-custodial parent can get away with neglect not providing what they need. If he has the money to go fishing, he has the money to send for his child. Don't back down or you will find later on when he is older and things are more expensive that it's YOU struggling to meet his needs because you gave daddy a free pass.

    Answer by attap5 at 8:53 AM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • I agree-don't do it!! My ex has not paid a damned cent since the day our daughter was born and she'll be 8 this month. We have gone to court constantly since her birth. He has no showed the last four times and all the judge does is issue a bench warrant for him. He got maried and out everything in his wife's name. I was told that since he did that I cannot get a lien on any of his property including the  $30,000 Harley Davidson motorcycles he (now she) owns.expecting boy


    Answer by deniseh1973 at 10:13 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • My personal answer was not added and was put under another person's name-not sure what that means but im not happy about it

    Answer by RuthGuyon at 1:22 AM on Jun. 5, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.