Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

When your dad became a grandpa

How did your dad change once you had kids?
My dad is not a very affectoniate person towards my sister and I. Esp now that we are both grown. Even we both moved away there was no "I love you" no real hugs or anything. I only remember my dad actaully giving me a hug and kissing me one time. And that was when I was 12 and he was getting shipped off to Korea for a year. He had to leave in the middle of hte night and I woke up and he was sitting on the edge of my bed crying. But the day DD was born it was like *BAM!* a whole new dad! He would sit on my bed with me while I nursed her and talk to me. When he left about 3 days after she was born he hugged and kissed AND said "I love you". I was floored!! Well now my older sister is pregnant (after 7 years of trying!!). She called me last night and said "oh my God I got off the phone with dad and he said I love you!" We both just laughed and I told her about all of things dad has done since DD was born. It's just amazing. He is like a completely different person. He never calls her Joanna he calls her "pretty girl" At first I was thinking well dad is just overwhlemd with emotions, but now that dd is almost 2 he is still being loving towards me. The other day I was sittin go nteh couch by him and he reached over and put his arm on my shoulder. Simple gesture I know, but for my dad that spoke volumes.

Answer Question

Asked by jedwards2009 at 7:39 AM on Jun. 3, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 17 (3,282 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • well, when i had my dd he changed. i do not know if it was because he has two grandsons from my brother and its just a man thing. but once that baby girl showed up she is his whole world. he was always affecinate but he actually goes picks her up from daycare ect. everything he does is for that kid now. its amazing. he is not a person to save things at all. he actually wants to save a pair of her baby shoes and a onsie that says granpa's girl. lol . maybe its because he was working ect while i was growing up but this kid is his whole life. when she was a baby he would feed her all the time except the middle of night. he even babysat when my mother and i went to a play off game. crazy stuff.

    Answer by lambdarose at 7:52 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • My dad was like yours while growing up ... no real affection, a strict disciplinarian, etc. I was always scared of him.

    He did mellow a bit with age BUT it wasn't until my son came along that everything changed even more! He still struggled w/showing his emotions because it was all new to him but he did become very affectionate to us all, all while forming a special bond with my son.

    My dad died 2 years ago and my son is graduating high school today. It is bittersweet for us. I miss my dad every day. I'm glad yours is in your life and is able to share with you. Treasure it!

    Answer by FootballMom85 at 7:53 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • I think dads become grandpas and they are allowed to just show their love and not worry about discipline or strict rules.. so, you see the other side that was there when you were little but you focused on the man who told you no.. my thoughts anyway, my dad was the same way.

    Answer by Camilletnt at 8:13 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • My dad is still the same with me, he's always been laid back and kindhearted. He didn't really change much when our son came along :) He's a great grandpa though and he loves it!

    Answer by MommyYeoman at 8:16 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • That is so sweet! My father didn't change really. His thing is, he doesn't know how to be affectionate except to buy people stuff (has its pluses and minuses), which he did in spades.

    He was so happy though! I was 32 when I got married, an only child. He had wanted 6 kids and tons of grandkids, and he thought he'd get zero. Now he has 3. I know they make him really happy, and there's nothing he likes better than stories about them.

    Answer by Tracys2 at 9:42 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • My stepdad didn't change, but he was always an amazing man in my eyes. He has always said I love you, given us hugs, spent time with us, etc. My oldest has autism, but he didn't even let that stop him from being an involved grandpa. He figured out things he can do with my son - walks around the lake behind their house, he used to take him to Home Depot and push him through the store when he was little, takes him to Cici's Pizza (my son's favorite restaurant!), etc. He's very good with kids - taught children's church and children's choir at my church the whole time I was growing up.
    My dad passed away when I was 7, so he's the dad I grew up with.

    Answer by missanc at 9:47 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • I don't really know how he changed. There was a lot going on when my first child was born. At first he was very wary around her. then my mom died (7 weeks after my dd was born) and my dad was a different person because of that. He had lost his soul mate very suddenly and unexpectedly. They had been together for 29 years. She was 51 when she died. At first he was very loving and considerate towards everyone (we had all been through a lot). But then he withdrew back to the person I knew--distant and critical. When my 2nd child was born he had nothing to do with him even though we were living with him. He ignored him completely even when my son was talking to him. That lasted until he was 15 months old. I think my brother and neighbor said something to him about his behavior because he got more caring towards my younger kids. He's about the same now 10 years later.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 11:04 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in General Parenting
Need advice

Next question overall (Trying to Conceive)
Could I be pregnant?