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Would he still be dad or grandpa if he gave up all his rights?

Ok my bio dad gave up all his rights of me when I was 2 years old. So my moms husband adopted me when I was 5 years old. I didn't know anything about my bio dad until I was 11 years old. I found him when I was 15 years old. He has been in and out of my life since 15 he just started coming back around again and he says he has changed. The thing is he will say he is my dad or she is my dd. I have 2 girls and a 3rd girl on the way. They are 6 years and 3 years and he calls himself grandpa to them. If he gave up all his rights is he still actually a granparent to my kid? Is he actually a dad? I don't understand it. I mean he gave up all rights so not sure if that would mean no or just that someone else is raising me. I kind of don't want him around though. No reason I just don't, but don't want to hurt him if he has changed.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:19 AM on Jun. 3, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Don't worry about hurting his feelings. He had his chance to be a father to you and gave it up. You don't owe him anything- least if all the privilege to be grandfather to your children.
    bloomsr

    Answer by bloomsr at 8:22 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Biology doesnt change. He is still biologically your father. Your dad is the person who adopted you. I dont see a major problem? My husband father was not in his life for 10 yrs and showed up when my husband was in his 20's. Our dd is 6 yrs old and knows that is her dads FATHER but that her dads DAD is his step dad. He is the one who raised him. She has different names for them. Things did go south with my dhs father, but she is aware of who he is even though as of now he is not allowed around us.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 8:23 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • well what should my girls call them.. I feel funny saying grandma and grandpa (maybe cause he hasn't seen my oldest since 3 years and my youngest since 3 months and they are 3 years and 6 years now), but I think I am confussing them because they will say grandma and grandpa to them, but when I talk to my kids I say (not infront of my bio dad and step mom) but I say their names to them. So I am afraid I am confusing them and don't know what to call them
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:30 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • My dd calls my dhs stp dad Papa and calls the bio grandpa grampy
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 8:36 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Here's the thing, there's a big difference between providing the genetic material needed to have a child and actually being a dad. This man has managed to do the former, but not the later. I would find some sort of nickname for your bio dad that isn't grandpa so your kids can relate to who you are talking about. Here's a site with a lot of name ideas http://www.thenewparentsguide.com/grandparents-nicknames.htm

    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 8:37 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • My own personal situation is the same as yours. My Bio dad was not around, and I was adopted by my step dad. My adopted dad was MY dad! (He died when my son was born). Shortly after my dad's death my bio-dad started to come around. My kids call him Grandpa {First Name} and his wife Grandma {First Name}. Sometimes, they'll just say Grandpa, but when we talk about him it's Grandpa {First Name}.

    My mom since my dad's death re-married. My kids call him Grandpa {First Name}. Part of the reason is because I'm a HUGE stickler for kids using proper names. They NEVER address an adult by their first name. They call all of my friends Mr. {last name}; Mrs {last name}; Miss {Last Name}. It just to me didn't seem right for them to call my bio-dad "Mr....", so I settled with Grandpa {First Name}.
    SAHMinIL2

    Answer by SAHMinIL2 at 8:45 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Legally, no, he's neither father nor grandfather if he gave up his rights. But biologically, yes he is still your father and therefore your children's grandfather. Your an adult now, so it's up to you and him to determine if you will have a father-daughter relationship, and it's up to you to figure out what kind of relationship he has with your daughters.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:59 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • well sweety you do what is best for you & your kids if you feel that you shouldnt be around your bio dad & dont want him near your kids then that is up to you
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 11:14 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • I always say ANYONE can be a father.... but it takes someone special to be a DAD! Just giving birth, does not make you a DAD.

    Ultimately, it is up to you. Do what is best for you and your girls, no matter what your bio father says
    MrsDAP

    Answer by MrsDAP at 2:13 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

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