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How to deal with in-laws?!

My daughter will be one tomorrow! (ahh!!) But This whole year it has been a constent power struggle with my in laws. They want us to cut her hair, give her sweets, let her stay up late and all that stuff. When I saw NO they say that I am controlling. And now..them knowing we are not religious at all and do not plan on getting our daughter baptized..they nag us about it all the time. Anyone else deal with this? How did you manage? I used to love him family but now..I just wish they would butt out! Any help??

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Asked by ZOSO at 6:55 PM on Jul. 11, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 4 (33 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • It's a touchy situation for sure. First of all, you and your husband need to communicate and get on the same page about all the important issues surrounding his parents interaction with your family. Then he needs to stand up for you and ur new family- while you put his needs and the needs of your daughter before any personal feelings about his parents. It's important that you set limits and expectations for them, so they will clearly understand if they cross any lines. Do so in a kind manner, that let's them know you value the role they have in your child's life. Let them know you feel it's best to address things before any problems arise and issues cause stress for the relationships.
    (Then ignore the small matters graciously, but expect respect on big issues.) Good luck

    Answer by ChattyWifePlus2 at 7:14 PM on Jul. 11, 2008

  • Well, I don't know how well they will receive it but AARP has a pretty good "Grandparent Tips" sheet. It talks about how it is hard to give up control but it is the PARENTS who make the decisions now.

    Answer by kaycee14 at 7:28 PM on Jul. 11, 2008

  • If it's a mother-in-law, I recommend reading The Mother-in-Law Dance by Annie Chapman. Are they babysitting a lot? if she is at home with you, then you have control over mostly how late she stays up, what she eats. Of course I hope they'd never cut her hair without you present and your permission...

    Answer by TXdanielly at 9:12 PM on Jul. 11, 2008

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