if someone is verbally abusive to their spouse, is there a possibility that person can be abusive to their children also?
my friend is in a very troubling situation. her husband is very verbally abusive, controlling, demeaning and patronizing to her. he treats the kids okay, he's not a soft teddy bear or anything but he doesn't hurt, hit or yell at them. so i think for this reason alone is why she's stayed as long as she has (they've been married a little over 2 years). well i guess she is just fed up with it, but stuck in another 9 months of their lease. she works at a daycare and her kids go to work with her for free, but the pay isn't much, he got out of the army in april and hasn't had any luck finding work yet, so he stays home but doesn't take care of the kids because they're with her at work.
anywho, we've been texting this morning and i welcomed her and her kids to stay with me. we live about 30 minutes apart now that i recently moved, but she has the car and the kids right now at work, and could very easily drive here after her shift. they only have one car so he can't exactly chase after her. i guess i'm really biased because my husband has ptsd and has emotionally abusive tendecies, and before he started receiving treatment i felt so stuck. i know how she feels and i want to help her in anyway i can.
she's worried if she takes off he'll destroy her kids' things. which is a possibility, he likes to break stuff when he's angry. but i told her, are "things" more important than your safety and a stable environment for the kids? and i explained i wasn't trying to be rude, just blunt. i told her i know leaving is scary, very scary, but she needs to get herself and her kids out of that situation, and if he refuses help for his anger then she shouldn't stand by any longer and take the abuse.
do you think i'm overstepping? i just want her to know she has a place to go, if needed. but i do think it's true that abusers of any kind do not always focus their abuse on one person.
Answer by gemgem at 9:45 AM on Jun. 3, 2011
Answer by pinkdragon36 at 9:57 AM on Jun. 3, 2011
Answer by Anonymous at 10:00 AM on Jun. 3, 2011
Answer by Anonymous at 9:50 AM on Jun. 3, 2011
Answer by scout_mom at 10:01 AM on Jun. 3, 2011
Answer by momto4girzls at 10:18 AM on Jun. 3, 2011
Answer by kgrine at 10:34 AM on Jun. 3, 2011
Answer by RubyinPA at 10:34 AM on Jun. 3, 2011
Answer by Ricanmami1 at 11:07 AM on Jun. 3, 2011