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Does Marriage Counseling work?

Please let me know! Dh and I are REALLY needing some help! We are BOTH wanting to do this.. and WILLING to work together.. we love each other VERY much. I moved out yesterday, and now Dh says he wants to work things out bc he loves me... He was the one who initiated the divorce- and I have never gotten the courage to actually leave until yesterday- My BIRTHDAY for cying out loud! I guess that gave him a wake up call. Now we want to go to counseling- the thing I have been asking for, for months now!

Answer Question
 
A.Mommys.Love

Asked by A.Mommys.Love at 10:46 AM on Jun. 3, 2011 in Relationships

Level 3 (-9 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Only if both people want to go.
    CraftingMama

    Answer by CraftingMama at 10:47 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Marriage counseling is a tool that can help your marriage. But both people need to be willing to pick up the tools and use them for it to work.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 10:47 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • bump!

    A.Mommys.Love

    Comment by A.Mommys.Love (original poster) at 10:50 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • marriage counselling can work, but it all depends on how much you both want it to work and it also depends on the counsellor. Me and dh went to a counsellor at a couselling centre and we both left with a what was that? feeling? She said our problems we because of my issues with my dad, what???? She asked us about things that upset us during our childhood. Well a absent father who blames you for everything is pretty upsetting. She didn't ask us much about our marriage or kids. It was very strange.
    We then went to our pastor and we only had one session with him but it worked for us. We were feeling so our of sync with eachother and fighting a lot. He spent about 2 hours with us. The best question he asked us was why we fell in love in the first place. He wouldn't let us off with cheesy answers either. He pushed us to remember why we fell in love and tell the other the exact reasons why. cont.
    AmandaH321

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 10:58 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • my husband and I had to do this before we got married. I will say this we learned a lot about each other and we thought we knew everything about each other. We had to answer questions we just didn't ask each other bc we assumed we already knew the others answers. It is best if you do not know the counsilor. We knew ours and it was hard to talk about private life infront of him.
    Kimkh

    Answer by Kimkh at 10:58 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • He made us focus on the little things. Then he asked questions like, why did we want to get married, what did we expect from ourselves, not eachother but ourselves. That was interesting. Then he asked about our last fight, talked about our love languages. Dh is physical affection, mine is works (helping with things). It was great. We really needed the reminder of why we were together, what our goal was as a couple and parent's. He also pointed out that we should put our relationship first and the kids second. Not neglecting the kids but prioritizing our responsibiilties.
    I hope you and dh can find the help you need and that you both work towards what's best for you.
    AmandaH321

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 11:01 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Research counselors before paying money to see a stranger who' s only in it for the money. Counseling can work when you have a great conselor and two people willing to put in the work to get their marriage back togehter....I wish you two the best of luck....and remember, every marriage is different, and every marriage experiences their own individula problems, what worked for one couple may not necessarily work for you and your husband.
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 11:45 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • it can work. I laugh when I think about when we went.
    The counselor was a moron so we'd play games with her. At one point I was telling DH that she didn't remember our homework assignments. He refused to believe that she's assign something and not even make a point of remembering when we came back.

    So we made a bet on it. So she asked us how the week was, we said pretty good. Then she asked us how the homework assignment went. I asked her what part of the assignment was she asking about in particular?
    She finally admitted that she didn't remember what it was!

    I think what worked best for us was making fun of counselor and laughing at her. Yes, sometimes to her face. here was this woman thinking that she was going to be a couples counselor, but if we brought up anything of a sexual nature, she'd blush and say she wouldn't talk about that!
    I wonder if she has any clients!
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 1:00 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

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