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Should Step parents have a "grandparent's" name for the SK children?

If so, who gets priority on pick the names? My aunt is about to be a grandmother for the first time. 2 of her children are having children, one is due in 4 months the other in 6. The one who is due in 6 months has a SM who is getting another grandchild in 7 months. The SM wants to be called "Nana" by all the kids. So does my Aunt. Neither want to share it. I feel my aunt should get the "Nana" title because 1. the 2 grandchildren she is getting are both bio where the SM is getting one from her bio child, on from her step and 2 my aunt is going to be a grandma first (since one of her bios is due in 4 months). Her child who is due in 4 months (is not with my aunt's exDH so the SM is not her SM) wants my aunt to be Nana to her child. The SM's bio child feels the same way but again my aunts children and both due before SM's bio. The SM feels she has claim to the title because she bought an outfit and bib that say "Nana loves me". I know this sounds silly but it is causing WWIII. My aunt has always been the one to give in (and these are her bio children) to keep the peace but this time she is holding her ground. Who do you think has the right to being called "Nana"? And again, neither want to share so that's not a option and neither will agree that they should just both not use "Nana" (I think that is the best option here but hey, that's me).


Asked by JLS2388 at 11:12 AM on Jun. 3, 2011 in Parenting Debate

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Answers (25)
  • My Mil and Mom argued a bit. They both wanted "Granny". my mom caved and is "Mima" My Mil hasn't even met my DD (she's 8) and hasn't seen my ds since he was 18 months (he's almost 12 now) MIL is now , "Daddy's mother in Florida," So screw her.

    Answer by Saya at 7:52 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • I think that's such a petty thing for them to be fighting over
    I agree with Meooma, why can't they just add their name to Nana? We have step grandparents and the kids dont know any different. My step mom is another Gramma in my kids eyes. We always just waited to see what the kids would call them.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 11:18 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • What about Nana K, or L, or whatever their first name is? If the aunt's name is Virginia it would be NanaV, if the other name is Sally it would be NanaS?

    Answer by meooma at 11:15 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • My DH growing up had two grandmas. At their home they were both Grandma. When referring to them out side of their home it was Grandma Taylor and Grandma Stubs. Neither had to give up 'their' name but it wasn't like it was confusing... KWIM?

    Answer by But_Mommie at 11:19 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • The kids will actually settle on something all by themselves.

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 11:23 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • That has to be the most petty disagreement I've seen. It's like arguing about what your neighbor names their dog - none of your business and beyond your control. Why does either of them think they have any say over what the other one is called in the first place?

    Answer by NotPanicking at 3:06 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • If they both want to be "Nana" and refuse to budge then maybe they should be called "Nana Mary" and Nana Sue" to tell the nana's apart. My Grandmas were both called grandma by sis and I, we would simply call one Grandma Flint and the other Grandma Heiniger. But knowing kids, they will probably come up with their own names for the grandparents. My dad was called "Boppa" for many years and my mom is known as "Mim" (as my youngest could not say Kitty Grandma). So while THEY want to be called Nana, they may end up being called something totally different by the little ones as they are learning to talk.

    Answer by MizLee at 3:59 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • I agree with MIZ. It should be Nana "first name" and Nana "first name." Why do they each require SEPERATE titles? That is just nonsense imo. My kids call ALL of their grandparents GRANDMA AND GRANDPA "first name." No one gets a special, lone title.


    Answer by KairisMama at 10:15 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • I think the people who were the most active parents should be the ones to pick their grandparent titles first. If a birth mom has nothing to do with her kids it should go to the step mom. In your case, I think your aunt should get the first pick.

    Answer by scout_mom at 11:15 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • meoma, they won't share Nana at all. Personally, I think they should just agree to not use Nana at all but neither want that.

    Comment by JLS2388 (original poster) at 11:17 AM on Jun. 3, 2011