Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Would you lose everything for a child?

Before you answer, here is the scenario. Child A lived with her mother for 9 years when mother decided she would rather pick a man over child and sends child to live with dad and stepmom. Child support is paid up until that time. Agreement there is no support from mom to dad. Child B is a few months old at this time. Child A is doing fine for the next 5 years when suddenly she goes off the deep end and becomes abusive to the stepmom. Bad enough that the police needed to be called and the child arrested. By 16 child A has become so out of control that the police need to be called and child arrested after the beating of the stepmom after stepmom finds out she is dating a man in his 30s. Child A is sent back to live with mother for the last year and a half before turning 18 with contract of no support. Bio mom decides she cannot raise the child financially and applies for food stamps. She cannot handle the child and sends child to live with a woman who is a felon, can't decide if she is gay or straight, does drugs, allows child to live with a man in her room, man is 24, child is now 17. Friend of family decides child support should be sent to child A, who has a drug issue, however if child support is ordered it would be enough that the family loses their home as they are paycheck to paycheck, putting child B out of her home so that child A can get high. Child A is offered necessities, but cash is what is wanted. No formal child support order is in effect as yet, but will be once paperwork is through because of the food stamps the mother is collecting. Keep in mind, it is fraud because child A has not lived in mother's home for over 30 days. Do you fight it and keep Child B in her home, or do you just say ok and lose your home for a few months worth of support for Child A. Child A is ineligible to return home to dad and stepmom because DCF has deemed her too violent to be around Child B, so that is not an option.

Answer Question

Asked by attap5 at 11:24 AM on Jun. 3, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 19 (7,524 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Oh wow.. thats SO hard.. Do you/ this family have the money to "fight it"? what a terrible situation, I'm sorry !!!!!

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 11:27 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • I think the family needs to quit worrying about money and stick child a into rehab and get her some help with her anger

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 11:28 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • She is in anger management through counseling that the court made her do. As far as rehab, unless she agrees they won't take her.

    Comment by attap5 (original poster) at 11:29 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • If they offer her things buy them and keep track of what is bought and how much.. you can get her drug tested in court... There you have proof child a is being taking care of w/o the cash handed to her bc of the drug problem.. Im sure a judge will agree with buyin her things and not set an amount. bc she is so close to an adult and she can do for herself the judge might not allow any child support. Its a crazy situation but the judge could also (if he/she wanted) to help a MINOR with a drug problem.. so in the end its up to the judge

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:33 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Actually, you can have 3 family member sign a petition that the judge can then order. My sister and bil are dealing with his sister and are taking the "family forced" rehab route

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 11:33 AM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Protect Child B, file emergency petition with court and have Child A put in to rehab, lock down for 6 mos. I am sorry.

    Answer by ShelbysHope76 at 12:11 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • yeah you fight it for child b's sake....

    Answer by AmaliaD at 12:49 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • The only one who can help child A at this point is herself. You know where the money would go. Child A needs rehab and counseling but not cash. I would fight like hell for child b and your home.

    Answer by hotelmom123 at 1:05 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • This family seems to worried about money when the main issue is a behavioral one. One day, child support for both children will be non-existent, then what will they do? What about the behavior of the child that's obviously suffering from something that has happend to push her to this point? I do understand that you need a place to stay so fight like you want it but also fight to get that other child the help she needs...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 1:39 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Fight for Child B. Tell the court everything that happened the mother agreed to no child support so, no support. She is almost 18 anyways.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 2:27 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.