Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

When do you know?

At what point do you know its time to give up trying for another baby and be happy with one you have? I have a beautiful 3 year old daughter who is EVERYTHING i ever wanted in a child, a sweet baby girl that should be turning 1 but was born sleeping at 23 weeks; and i have been trying desperately trying for another child since we lost her. It has been a year now and nothing. We had trouble with our first and had to seek fertility help but our second came after 5 months of trying. Our insurance doesnt cover any fertility now. I have talked to my reg OB and she has put me on clomid and its not working, i have one round left and then she says its out of her hands and i have to seek fertility help, and we cant afford to do that, knowing how much it cost us before with insurance. I am happy with my daughter, but i know i LOVED growing up with my sisters. I feel so torn on one hand i want to be done trying so i dont have to keep going through the disappointment and feeling like a failure every month, but on the other i want my daughter to have someone to grow up with. when do you know its time to just stop? I will be 29 this year and never wanted to be this "old" having kids. I always wanted to be a young mom. and just stopping isnt an option. I have such heavy periods that when we are done trying i am to get the ablation done to my uterus. please help!

Answer Question

Asked by babymaddy at 3:47 PM on Jun. 3, 2011 in Trying to Conceive

Level 12 (888 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Maybe it is not time to give up but to take a break. Sometimes that is all it takes. If not it could give you time to reevaluate things.

    Answer by Melbornj at 3:51 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • i forgot to mention that im in a wedding next may (2012) and we bought our dresses already and i cant be prego in the dress its too short. so i have this month and next to try. the only problem with stopping is that my OB keeps telling me it takes the average couple 9 months and if i stop and then start again that time starts over.

    Comment by babymaddy (original poster) at 3:53 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • I agree....take a break...have sex for fun! Enjoy your 3 year old. And screw the wedding dress...if you have to make a change then so be it. Don't stress yourself out over a dress! I don't think your time starts over. You can stop trying without using BC.

    Answer by AngZacc at 4:22 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Don't worry about the dress. And wait and see what happens once you're done with the Clomid. And, having TTC'd for over 2 years, I HATE when people say "just relax and it will happen". You do need to relax, but it's just cause you come across stressed. Deep breath, and take things one step at a time. Finish the Clomid, and go from there.
    To answer your question, you're "done" TTC when you feel done. When you know for sure you don't want any more, that's when you're done.

    Answer by MedicMommy at 7:39 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • We honestly ttc for about 6 months for baby #3 when I decided I was being "silly". My husband wanted to get fixed and we said let's have one more so we won't have any regrets. I am 34 yo and have many health issues now (type 2 diabetes/heart condition). I just said, "let's forget it and just get the vasectomy." Meanwhile, even though we stopped "ttc" we did not use protection either since I thought I wasn't ovulating at all. Then on our anniversary in October, we had a kid-free weekend. :) I got pregnant from one time. I had NO CLUE either! we went through Halloween, and 2 days before Thanksgiving, something felt "off'. Thinking maybe I was FINALLY ovulating, started using my O tests again. they were all positive no matter when I took them. So, I said to DH, pick me up a preg test....sure enough I was (am) pregnant!!!! I hope my story gives you hope. I really never thought this would have happened to us, but it did. Good Luck!

    Answer by Wonderland12777 at 11:07 AM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • i wouldnt even say take a real break...but youll worry yourself sick with charting and temps. just dont go back on bc or anything just have fun at random times in the month. we try hard to make ttc a science, when happens when you stop focusing on it so much! you sound like a loving mother, and you shouldnt have to experience such stress after going through grief last year.

    stay strong and the right decision will reveal itself :] hope the AF lightens up a bit. i have endo and the heavy ones are JERKS

    Answer by babymaycker at 4:34 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Trying to Conceive
Chemical Pregnancy

Next question overall (Health)
Do you have a weird habit?