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2 Bumps

I'm terrified

I was recently offered a job I really wanted, and that I thought I had absolutely no chance of getting. I'm thrilled and soooo thankful that it could help get my family back on our feet!

The problem is, I've been a SAHM for going on 4 years now. As soon as the excitement of the job offer wore off, I realized that I am absolutely TERRIFIED of going back to work. Not just nervous, I'm literally so terrified of leaving my children and going back into the workforce, I want to cry every time I think of it.

My husband doesn't understand; he thinks I'm just joking or being overdramatic. But I'm so worked up internally, it's affecting everything I do - I'm struggling through finals in school right now, I'm yelling at my kids for no reason...I'm just a mess. Last night I had a full-fledged panic attack, and I haven't had one of those since we lost our house/income/way of life two years ago.

I just can't seem to handle this. I could really use some advice or words of encouragement from any of you who have been there. I never really realized how invested I was in my "mommy" identity until now. :(

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:55 PM on Jun. 3, 2011 in Money & Work

Answers (12)
  • well i think you need to ask yourself, if its worth going back? Will you make enough to pay you AND pay for your child care? is the place going to be ok with you being off if a child is sick? are you going to spending more in gas and lunch and daycare? and do you have someone you can TRUST to keep your kids? if you can answer all of those in a positive way then i think you should do it. if it wont pay you to do it then i wouldnt give up being a full time mommy! I think about going back to work but have been off for 4 years and just cant imagine going back either! good luck mama!
    babymaddy

    Answer by babymaddy at 4:00 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • I will pray for you hun..i have no advice...except u keep ur headup!!!
    msmamakatie

    Answer by msmamakatie at 4:02 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • It's always scary to take that first big step into an unknown world. Do you really want your fear controlling you? The only advice I could give is try not to dwell on it. Jump in with both feet. You will be awesome, and you know it!
    I got like that even when I wasn't a mother. I was laid off for some time, and rejoining the work force was really scary. Add in the extra challenge of managing your family and working, and it is even scarier.
    But don't worry, you ARE superwoman!
    Candi1024

    Answer by Candi1024 at 4:04 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • i will keep you in my prayers. i agree with all of the above comments. You will be ok!! You can do it!! But make sure it is right for everyone.
    mkdirector2011

    Answer by mkdirector2011 at 4:09 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Give it a try. If you don't like it, go back to being a SAHM. You might find that it isn't so bad and your kids might like being in daycare or school.

    When I went back to work, I was worried my LO was going to feel like I left him. But now when I drop him off, he doesn't even look back. It could be good for you all!
    AngZacc

    Answer by AngZacc at 4:25 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Change is scary. It's OK to acknowledge that, and it's OK to feel it---if you don't feel those things, how can you work through them and learn how to deal with them?

    One thing that you're going to probably have to do with your husband is be very direct about what you need from him now. You're going to have to say to him, "I need you to do X for me. I need you to tell me Y." This is the only way that you'll get the type of support that you need from him.

    Once you start work, just take it one day at a time. Take stock of how things are going. Perhaps journal it out---consider in your journal how you're feeling, how the kids are doing, how you feel about the job, how you feel about housework, how you feel about cooking dinner, all of the things that will be different in your life.

    Change is scary, but it can be a very good thing. Be open to that.
    evwsquared

    Answer by evwsquared at 7:16 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Thanks to all of you, I really appreciate it! Your comments help, and knowing that I'm not completley crazy for feeling this way lets me know that I CAN figure it out and get through it.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:19 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Give it a go - each day will get eaiser. Count your blessings you have a job to go to.
    tasches

    Answer by tasches at 9:28 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • After a couple of weeks, your "adult brain" will return! You will be so happy, you will wonder how you every managed to stay at home.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 12:25 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • There is always "fear of the unknown", no matter what it is. Once you get there, you will realize all of the "fear" was unnecessary...but it felt so very real before that. If this is causing some physical problems, then maybe you should see your physician for a mild anti-anxiety med for a short period of time. Humans are notorious for getting worked up about the unknown...it's normal. But you will eventually see that the worrying was really not worth it. Take deep breaths, try not to dwell on the unknown, and take it one day at a time. My mother's favorite saying was "This, too, shall pass". Worrying about it isn't going do anything but make you sick. Keep yourself busy...try not to dwell on it, and when the day comes, dive head on into it. Believe me, it will be a lot of stress over nothing, and you will relax after the first day.
    Lynda-Lou

    Answer by Lynda-Lou at 1:15 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

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