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What would you do?

I love my husband to death, but i am having problems that he doesnt seem to care about. He makes me hold off on getting my license. i have to wait another year and its already been 2. He gets the chance to go out with friends but i have to sit home 24/7. Hell i dont know what it would be like to do something wihtout my husband and kids. I am not allowed to work or go to college. it would only be a waste of money he says. SO i am literally going insane becuase i feel like a inmate in my own house. I dont know what to do becuase i talked to him about but then he makes me feel guilty in the end like its all my fault i have a sucky life.I cant even talk to him about anything becasue he doesnt listen or he makes me feel like crap. I just dont know what to do anymore becuase i am so depressed and i cry all the time. I dont know whether to stick it out or leave.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:39 PM on Jun. 3, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • Its NOT okay how he is treating you, bu any means.... a marriage is 50 50.. No one can make the desision for you, but you have children and you dont want them growing thing how he is treating you is okay because it is not.
    Kambrosino07

    Answer by Kambrosino07 at 4:44 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • I don't mean to scare you, but this is a sign of a future abuser. They start out by controlling you and cutting you off from outside interaction. I was very young when it happened to me. It's a slow process, and by the time you are finished your self-esteem is so far in the toilet you are afraid to leave because you don't trust who you are. You need to see if there is someplace you can go. If you are old enough to have children and be married, you are certainly old enough to drive.
    attap5

    Answer by attap5 at 4:52 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • How come you love someone who treats you like a slave? I have no idea how old you are, but I would have someone take me to get my license ASAP. I wonder if his insecurites keep him from allowing you to do things. Have you talked to your parents about this? I think he sounds really controlling and before you leave, you need to formulate some kind of plan to keep him from harming you or your children. I can only tell you I am sorry, and hugs to you!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 4:45 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • too many people always give the advice to leave the "very bad male that is treating you like shit..."... but in reality I know its not like that: our husbands aren't that bad, they get judged really fast after a couple words you said on them while angry... Leaving is not the solution, you dont want to teach the kids that you just leave instead of solving problems.
    I dont have my drivers license neither, and its true that I would love to be able to go somewhere, without my SO, because it is soo important, just to take my baby and go see my friends, or go to the store, whatever... but he always have to drive me everywhere, and it bother him sometimes too. I just have to take all of my courage and start learning to drive. i would say, ask a friend to teach you how to drive, and save money for yourself, and pass it, if its what you want. If he loves you he wont be mad, just do what you gotta do.
    kokomaman

    Answer by kokomaman at 4:54 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Do some classes on line and find someone that maybe you could "exhange" childcare with so you can take a driving course and get you d.l. Try marriage consuling befor you try to leave. If you feel you should leave or if he gets abusive then leave.
    sunsetbeach81

    Answer by sunsetbeach81 at 5:07 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • No, that other posters husband my not be that bad, but yours is. He HAS put his hands on you. And if you have to 'not make him mad', then he IS that bad. You can't have a party, you can't do something to enjoy yourself, because you don't have the money...BECAUSE HE WON'T GIVE IT TO YOU. He is your husband, and he is supposed to support you. He won't 'let' you work. He won't 'let' you go to school. He won't 'let' 'let' 'LET' you do a damned thing. And, if you make him mad he will shove you against the wall and hold you there by your face? He's abusive, and controlling. He is doing this to hold you down, to break you so you can't ever leave. My sisters ex didn't want her to go to school because if she did, she'd be able to get a better job, make more money, and be able afford to leave him. Your husband should WANT you to go to school. Should WANT you to feel good. Your husband is a bad one. I'd leave, if I were you. Just MHO.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 5:38 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • leave the controlling JERK!
    cailynsmommy626

    Answer by cailynsmommy626 at 4:40 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • leave you should be able to be independent as well
    roxy0522

    Answer by roxy0522 at 4:41 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Wow. You are a captive, not a wife!! That is not healthy. If he really won't listen, you need to leave. You are a human being, not a pet!
    aliceryannesmom

    Answer by aliceryannesmom at 4:47 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • i am gonna be turning 21. He says i can go whatever and do whatever but hard when he keeps holding me off when i get my license. I cant go to school or work because i would have to come up with money for a baby sitter so i understand that a little but i got insane sitting here all the time. I planned on having a girls only party here and he was all for it but i cant even pay for a party. so when i get a chance to do something for myself i cant .
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:50 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

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