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2 Bumps

Husbands

Do any of you ladies have the same issue with your husband? For the ladies who have been married for a long time like yrs. I have been with my husband for 15yrs and we have four kids I have not been with any one else. So what I'm saying is do you feel like you both are way to comfortable with each other you can act any way you want like burp, fart, act silly, say any thing if it nice or mean. Then you see your husband act way different around friends or family like if hes a whole other person and you think why cant he be like this with me.

 
butterflies78

Asked by butterflies78 at 9:53 PM on Jun. 3, 2011 in Relationships

Level 15 (2,301 Credits)
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Answers (19)
  • Absolutely not. I never wanted my husband to get THAT comfortable with me(although accidents happen with him from time to timeand then we laugh) but that's about it and I don't want to be that kind of comfortable around him. It just takes away from something. How can expect him to treat me like a "lady" if I act like a sailor or Larry the Cable Guy?? That's how I look at it and I always have. I know exactly what you're talking about because I've had women friends talk about this same question. Sadly, I think it shows that ....yeah, you may feel that comfortable and all around each other, but there is a certain amount of or certain kind of respect that is lost. I'm no expert by any means, but I have seen it and never wanted to be in that category with my Hubby. He's my dream man....I don't want to pass gas sitting next to him on the sofa or whatever. How can I expect him to find me sexy if I just did that 30min ago?
    KellyGirl_TX

    Answer by KellyGirl_TX at 10:40 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • I think the fact that we can laugh at farting together is probably what keeps us so together.
    I love being comfortable. If I wanted uncomfortable I'd still be dating.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 10:29 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • I just asked my DH if he would mind or prefer me to feel that kind of comfortable around him. He said "WHY would I want you to act like that?"...Just thought I'd make sure we weren't missing out on something great going on.
    KellyGirl_TX

    Answer by KellyGirl_TX at 10:58 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Im extremely comfortable around my hubby we act regularly act out and funny together when hes with his freinds or family he is a little diffrent just morre serious
    raeyliNlilysmom

    Answer by raeyliNlilysmom at 9:55 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Im sure that's frustrating, but I think the comfort that you two share is worth far more than any of that other stuff. I'd try to focus on how wonderful it is to have someone you can completely let go around.

    But, if it really bothers you then the only thing to do is talk to him about it
    kayslay

    Answer by kayslay at 9:58 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • all the time and he tells me i do that too. we've been together for about eleven years now with three kids
    noel1978

    Answer by noel1978 at 9:58 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • He is vice versa with me. He is pretty open with me and with his family he is less so. I think it's cause I make him comfortable. He and I get along.
    Autumn07

    Answer by Autumn07 at 10:04 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Are you wishing you weren't so comfortable? I am not sure i understand why that is a bad thing to you. I would hope that after 15 years of marriage I can feel comfortable being myself with my husband. I would hate to have to put on airs or censor myself too much with my LIFE PARTNER.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • @Kelly - did you act like "a sailor" or "Larry the Cable guy" before you were married? I sure didn't. Farting once in a while doesn't make someone an outright pig. Maybe you secretly are a pig and want to keep that from him, and vice versa, but for most people, being comfortable (the op mentions being silly - what is wrong with that pray tell???) has nothing to do with being downright vulgar and crude as you suggest it does.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:15 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • "Ladies" are human. And if your husband is repulsed by you for farting or being silly then I pity you. I have a much stronger bond with my husband, so that if I fart, drop the f-bomb, or act like a goofball once in a while he doesn't judge me for it. I have never been the type to do these things all the time, but sometimes I do, and guess what, my husband doesn't think I am "Larry the cable guy." We love each other, and accept each other, human qualities and all. I would hate to have to constantly be worried about turning my husband off. Thankfully I don't have to, we are real with each other, I still get to be a person, AND yes, he wants me, real bad!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:23 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

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