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2 Bumps

What are your techniques on suppressing anger? In particular when your child is driving you CRAZY!!!

I was REALLY GOOD there for awhile, but about 1/4 of the way through her 2's I just lost it and I feel like I never got it back. She's really a sweet, compassionate, HUGE hearted girl but she does have her moments. I have absolutely NO patience anymore for her blatant in-my-face defiance. I find myself hauling off & yelling at her sometimes & I don't want to be that way. What do you do to calm yourselves down when you've reached your boiling points?? That counting to 10 BS doesn't work. ;) I need something IN the MOMENT, not something like Yoga or whatever, although I'm sure that would help in the long run.

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MamaLisa1976

Asked by MamaLisa1976 at 10:56 PM on Jun. 3, 2011 in Health

Level 16 (3,073 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • I tell my dd that Mom is taking a time out and I go in a different room and calm down before i talk to her. Oh and sometimes the calming down involves crying or hitting a pillow. lol :)

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Uhhhh....put yourself in time out! lol
    With my kids, I have had to just decide not to get mad, not to react and not to yell......because when they get the reaction like that out of you, then they've won!
    Make sure your getting time to yourself, without your little one to be YOURSELF. I find that when I do that I come back relaxed and ready to tackle the next issues a whole lot better than if I hadn't of taken that time! lol
    BeachyBabe

    Answer by BeachyBabe at 11:01 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • I just remind myself that my child is just that, a child. My anger serves no purpose and will not teach her anything except to be afraid of mommy. All kids test the limits we set for them, especially small children (and teenagers). Patience and understanding go a lot further than anger in those situations. Maybe you should see a therapist if you find your anger getting out of control. It isn't healthy for you or your child.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:02 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • I've found that with my strong-willed todder, if I flip out, it only gets worse. Take a super deep breath and deal with the situation as calmly as possilbe. Even if you're gritting your teeth. If you get down on to their eye-level and calmly address the situation, it is so much better for both! Good luck mama!
    mevxoxo

    Answer by mevxoxo at 11:06 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • I put myself in a time out.
    Either take a nap with her or relax and plug in your ipod.
    Augusta

    Answer by Augusta at 11:09 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • I absolutely do need to get out more & be myself. I might go out once every 6 months, if that, and it's only a couple of hours. My next big outing without kiddos is the Komen Race next week, but still then I can't go out very long because I have a 3 mo old I'm BFing and I'll need to get back to her asap after the race. I have a pump but nowhere to plug it in until after the race too, so I'm sure my boobs will be ready to explode by then.
    MamaLisa1976

    Comment by MamaLisa1976 (original poster) at 11:11 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Get out of my head!!!

    jk. but this is EXACTLY how I feel (except I have a 3 1/2 year old son). Tonight I got so mad at him I yelled and tossed a plastic container across the room. He pushes my limits from the minute I wake up until he is in bed for the night. DH is out of town and dd (15 months old) is teething. I am frazzled. After my crazy freak out episode my son started to cry. Obviously he is going to cry! I acted like a psyco and he was probably scared. I apologized to him and we explained our feelings to each other. That is the best I could do in that situation. My dad used to yell at me all the time and never thought twice about it. I am trying to do things "better" than my parents, and apologizing when you are wrong is important to me.

    When I feel myself trying to boil over I try a few different things: We all go into a different room or outside. After spending hours together its nice to get a change
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:12 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • cont

    of scenery. I also try to remind myself that what I am getting upset about doesn't matter. Is it a big deal if we go to the grocery store 10 minutes from when I want to leave? NO, not really. I also have baby pictures of my kids hanging up in our bathroom (cute 6 mos. photos of them in tubs from a professional portrait studio). Having a bathroom break and looking at the "simpler times' in our lives helps me to relax. Its weird, but its my thing. I hope this helps. Go easy on yourself and your little girl! Its important to have time for yourself but I think its also important to have time for just hte two of you. Go to a movie or park together with only the two of you. Focusing your time and energy on only her might help:)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:14 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • That's one thing though... she's going through this thing - and I have NO idea where it came from - where she absolutely MELTS DOWN if I even go in the other room!! She has developed this deep fear of me/her daddy leaving her and I don't know where it came from!! She even wakes up bawling sometimes (like this morning) and she told me Daddy & me & Maycie (her sister) were all outside and she was inside. That upset her so much. I don't know if it started because one time I was trying to talk to someone important on the phone (insurance or whatever) and she wouldn't be quiet (our BIGGEST issue and one I blow up over the fastest because it's been gone over and over and over for the past YEAR and she JUST WON'T GET IT) ...so finally I walked outside on the porch so I could hear and left her inside with her cartoons but I could see her through the sliding glass door. She SCREAMED AND SCREAMED bloody murder but I HAD to hear what
    MamaLisa1976

    Comment by MamaLisa1976 (original poster) at 11:34 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • the person was saying - it was an IMPORTANT phone call and she KNOWS unless she has to go potty, or if she's HURT, that's the ONLY time she is to interrupt me when I'm on the phone!!
    MamaLisa1976

    Comment by MamaLisa1976 (original poster) at 11:34 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

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