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4 Bumps

How about this for manipulation?

My fiances way of manipulation is in 2 words, "I'm leaving". He feels I have nothing without him and I am unable to make it far without him. So no matter how small the arguement, he will say those words and leave, whether it's for a few minutes or days. He also considers us "broken up". The other day he said it and I freaked out. I told him I was SICK and tired of hearing it and that if he wanted to go, GO! He knows where the door is and make sure it doesn't hit him in the ass on his way out. He then said it was my choice if he leaves. Whatever. I think he must have got the point because over a SIMPLE disagreement, he left with no words. If he wants to act childish, fine but my life still goes on. I have a toddler, our DD I have to worry about. Don't get me wrong, I love him but i'm at the point I don't want to hear it anymore. How should I handle the rest of this situation? He has no key and i'm locking up the house.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:58 PM on Jun. 3, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • yea i wouldn't marry someone like that

    Answer by sophistcatdfury at 11:00 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Honestly, I'd probably do what you did. If he was so intent on leaving, and he threatened me with it all the time, I'd eventually help him find the door and shove him out it. If he wants to be gone, then let him go, and show him you DO have something without him- yourself and your DD, and you can manage just fine! Once he sees that, he just might stop with the threats to leave. I'm sorry you're having to go through that, by the way. It has to be terribly frustrating to not be able to come to terms with some difference in opinion without him throwing down the walking card.

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 11:03 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Mine does this too, then tries to make it as though I was the one who told him to leave and wanted to end things. Put his shit in a bag and leave it outside the door and lock it, he'll get the hint it's time to quit the shit and grow up or move on. Hope things get better for you those are never fun times =(

    Answer by letlovegrow2524 at 11:04 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • My husband pulls that BS. Don't feed into it. Now, I just go about my business and if he keeps talking then I tell him, oh I thought you were leaving? lol
    Seriously.....don't play into it....stand up for what you want, because nobody will give it to you unless you give it to yourself!!!!!!!

    Answer by BeachyBabe at 11:05 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • I would of done the same thing as you. what is gonna happen when your married? its not gonna be that simple to leave when your married. you need to talk to him and tell him your not gonnna take it anymore. ive been there. its rough and its not worth it. tell him please dont come back so i dont have to deal with this anymore

    Answer by ladyb155 at 11:09 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • I'm glad you locked him out. sounds like he likes to play head games, but also sounds like he's really bad at it.

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 11:15 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • I think I would have packed his stuff up and put it on the porch before locking the door...but that's just me :/

    My husband has never threatened me with leaving like this :/ Good luck!

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 11:17 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • I would begin rethinking the whole fiance situation. Sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 12:16 AM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • "I told him I was SICK and tired of hearing it and that if he wanted to go, GO! He knows where the door is and make sure it doesn't hit him in the ass on his way out. He then said it was my choice if he leaves. Whatever."

    My husband has tried to pull that shit with me before. When he told me that it was my choice I responded, "No, my choice would be for you to start acting like an adult." He quit pulling that garbage real quick. 


    Answer by Vix920 at 12:27 AM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • Do you want to marry him still? He sounds really immature leaving all the time. I know of someone who'd dh did this all the time and she finally said that's it I'm out.
    I bet it would shut him up pretty quickly if you were the one to iniciate him leaving. I'd tell him when he comes home from his most recent fit that you are leaving him and actually do it. If he grows up and starts to take responsibility for his actions instead of running from them then revisit marrying him.

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 3:23 AM on Jun. 4, 2011

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