Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

Breastfeeding question/not sure if this normal...

Im so embarresed to ask, but people are making me feel like I am wrong. We currently (for the last 5 months) my 4 year old and 15 month old are sharing a room with my husband and I. due to our house being under construction. my 15month old co-slep and is still co-sleeping. Anyways, she nurses all night long, im her passifier. I try to stop but she has to sleep with us due to space. really we have no space for a crib. Since she was born we co-slept, at 9 months i planned to stop but now due to our situation i cant. Anyways im so tired of nursing all night long, it actually causes me pain, cuz i have to stay in one position all night long. Anyways, how do I stop, its ALL night. If i pull away she screams and cries for hours, she hits herself and pinches herself. its aweful. Also is this normal?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:01 PM on Jun. 3, 2011 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (12)
  • dd used to do this (around 10-11 months). I started nursing her on the couch until she fell asleep and then would slooowly pull away. If she would wake up I would let her pacify again until she was asleep and then would have her unlatch, rest w/ my nipple near to her mouth and after about 30-90 minutes put her into her crib. She would occasionally get up to pacify or nurse throughout the night. I moved her into her room with her brother at 11 months. She would wake up once or twice a night and I would try to nurser her and return her to her crib. Around 12 months she stopped nursing. I thought she would never stop nursing but she quit:( She literally went from nursing 3-5 times a day and falling asleep at the breast to nursing only twice in the final week of her breastfeeding.

    I miss having her precious body next to mine, but I know she led her weaning. It is nice to have my life back- but I miss her.

    Answer by bloomsr at 11:07 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • You are in survival mode. I feel your pain. I know you want to stop, but you are probably just too exhausted to do anything but to shove the boob in front of the 15 month old. Here is my suggestion. To wean (spelling?) her off, you need to do it when she's not tired/cranky. Try skipping one session in the morning for a couple fo days, then gradually increase the interval between nursing, google online, there are more specific steps you can follow. It'll take 1-2 weeks before you stop your milk supply, which it will go down quickly. Try introducing bottle AND pacifier to the 15 month old when she's in a good mood. I wont worry too much about the do what you can. Besides they grow up fast, enjoy it while it lasts. Isn't it nice to wake up next to a baby, looking into your eyes, smiling?

    Answer by Olivia4116 at 11:10 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Your baby is just doing and expecting what she's been allowed to do all along. Is it wrong? No, not in my opinion. Not if it works for you and your family. The problem now is that it's no longer working for you. When you try to change your baby's norm, your baby is upset and confused. If you do make a change by denying her your breast except for nutrition, be prepared for several days of being consistent and a screaming baby. If she is truly hurting herself you can try to gently, but forcefully hold her until she calms down and sleeps. You will have to decide if you can weather the storm until your baby readjusts (and she will) or if you will subject yourself indefinitely to discomfort, pain, and probably fatigue. I assuming she won't use a regular pacifier? I would also check with pediatrician for advice and to rule out any medical problems if you're concerned. Good luck.

    Answer by LoveHerDad at 11:14 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • I had the same problem with my son, it began when he was about 10months where the night nursing was NONSTOP... so what I did was instead of nursing him milk in the afternoon, I began to give him juice and water but just in the afternoon,... that way he was so freaking hungry by around 6pm that I filled him up on breastmilk and his night nursing started to diminish. He is almost 13 months now and only hits the boobie once maybe twice at night. The thing you should be afraid of with constant night nursing is the fact that your baby might have trouble with his teeth rotting from the milk sitting in the mouth too long and too often. Good luck gal.

    Answer by MommasLilSavior at 11:15 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Yes...its normal if she is co-sleeping. Just stay consistent with taking her off your breast when she is done nursing. She keeps doing it because you give it back to her. I think it is pretty normal for a 15 mo old to have tantrums. I would hold her hands and not let her do that and firmly say.. No.
    See if she can sleep on the other side by Daddy. Daddy does not have the breast and usually are pretty consistent and are not as emotionally hooked.


    Answer by Momforhealth at 11:15 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • What you describe is totally normal! A few months ago I too had a 15 month old who was nursing all night long. If she slept for an hour without my breast in her mouth it was a miracle!

    There is a really good article that describes how to nnight wean when you are bed sharing with your toddler. It does not involve leaving your toddler to "cry it out", it tells you how to gradually transition them to sleeping on their own, in your bed.

    Sleep, Changing Patterns In The Family Bed:

    I used this method with my DD at 18 months. She is now 23 months and sleeps in her own crib from 7:30pm-4:30 am, then she comes in bed with my and nurses/sleeps form 4:30-7am.


    Answer by maggiemom2000 at 11:59 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • My son is co-sleeping with us now but he only wakes to nurse once or twice a night for about 5 min each time. It's more like he is looking for me to just go back to sleep and he sleeps well right next to me. I, too, am in physical pain from sleeping in the same position all of the time and I am soooooo tired! My older son did this too at this age and he stopped at around 18 months so I hoping for the same to happen here. Otherwise, I am ready to just cut him off and deal with the screaming for a few nights. Hang in are not alone!

    Answer by khedy at 12:31 AM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • I was going to suggest the same link as Maggiemom. Know that you don't have to fully wean to end this at night. You just have to sort of night where you want to be.

    Answer by Krysta622 at 9:42 AM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • Could your older child sleep in another room, perhaps the dining room? It's normal for toddlers to nurse all night long, you aren't being used as a pacifier. Breastfeeding and sleeping with toddlers is the human norm, pacifiers are artificial nipples (mothers). Yoga, meditation, and Tylenol can help with the pain.

    Answer by Gailll at 11:54 AM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • I breastfed my daughter until she was 14 months... I was lucky that she started to wean on her own BUT we co-slept also and she used my breasts as pacifiers as well. We decided to put her in her crib in her own room at this time...(this was probably harder on me than her). I wasn't at all for "cry it out" but she only cried for 30 min the first night and was good from there. She still had/has her moments here and there. She is 26 months now and though she doesn't nurse, she is still obsessed with mommy's milkies. Always wanting to fondle them and grab them etc... If I do bring her to bed to sleep with us for a bit in the morning, I wake up with her hand on them. Anyway.... long story getting longer sorry. I think the only answer will be to put her to sleep in her own space... you may have to wait until you can??

    Answer by hollysybb at 3:28 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.