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Going to Lose It! (rant)

I'm currently 12 weeks 3 days pregnant, after ongoing daily arguments with my boyfriend I asked my mom if I could move back in with the family around my 8-9 week mark. My hope was that even though I had gotten pregnant so young (I'm only 18) my parents would still love me and help me through these soon to be very rough months of my life. I guess that was too much to ask of my family though. My dad is constantly yelling at me on a daily basis for the most ridiculous things! He tells me that I sleep too much. I'd just like to knock on his hollow head and say helllloooo? I'm pregnant! I sleep about 7-9 hours a night and usually take a nap in the afternoon because I'm so exhausted. And since Tuesday I've had a horrible sinus infection that is giving me migraines, ear aches, and a swollen throat that makes it difficult to eat. BUT he'd rather I be up doing yardwork and cleaning the inside of the house while he's at work. He has no respect at all for what I'm going through and how I feel. I cry about EVERYTHING(!!!!) and he looks at me like I need to get over myself. PLEASE anyone with advice on how to handle my dad would be appreciated! I can't handle the constant stress between trying to avoid him being mad at me and feeling like if I don't nap I'll throw up from exhaustion!!!!

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ufollakaitlin

Asked by ufollakaitlin at 11:30 PM on Jun. 3, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 4 (32 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I think the best thing is avoid, and ignore him. By fighting, you are bringing even more exhaustion to you
    mneta2

    Answer by mneta2 at 11:35 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • you gotta' get away from your dad. I was 23 when I got pregnant and (thankfully) lived hours away from my dad. He didn't talk to me for weeks after I told him I was preg (on the phone). he didn't even acknowledge that I told him I was pregnant! I think it has to have something to do with daddy losing his little girl and coming to terms with her not being a virgin/relying on another man to take care of them.

    It is going to be very hard- especially if your dad is on your case while you are feeling like shit. Can you talk to your mom and have her put in a good word for you? Do you have an aunt/grandparent/friend/etc. who you could stay with for a few days while you and your dad work things out? Its important to respect your parents while you are staying a their house, but they need to respect you too!! Congratulations on you pregnancy:) pm me if you ever want to vent or chat:)
    bloomsr

    Answer by bloomsr at 11:36 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • My mom just keeps telling me that I need to see it from his point of view. I want to help around the house and do as much as I can but I'm way to sick right now to do that. I wind up feeling even worse about myself because I hate to let my dad down but I need him to at least try and understand how I'm feeling. All of my family is out of state at least six hours away so there's not really anyone I can stay with, and a lot of my friends have stopped talking to me since they found out I was pregnant.
    ufollakaitlin

    Comment by ufollakaitlin (original poster) at 11:42 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • your 18,pregnant and not married.....of course your dad is angry at you! if you dont like being lectured and dont want to do chores at home, then move out and guess what...you will still have to do chores and you might even have to get a ....gasp....JOB!
    Sorry your young and inexperienced at how the real world works.....reality bites!
    michaux

    Answer by michaux at 11:44 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Actually, my dad pushed me to keep the baby and both of my parents strongly encouraged me to leave my boyfriend because he wasn't mature enough to be a father at this stage in his life. My dad is extremely supportive and loving of me as a person and as his daughter. And I got fired from my job and being pregnant and having a broken down car make it very hard for me to find a job although my dad and me have both been looking. I may not know much about the world but that's no reason for you to bash me. It's just very difficult for him to understand how I'm feeling being sick and pregnant or even just pregnant. Simply, I'm looking for advice as to how to stop the arguments with him or how to find a middle ground on the situation. I'm not against doing chores or working, in fact, I'm a very hard worker. My dad just expects that out of me all the time and when I'm as sick as I am it's very hard to live up to his expectations.
    ufollakaitlin

    Comment by ufollakaitlin (original poster) at 11:48 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Sorry you are not feeling well & arguing with your Dad too- that's alot to deal with when your emotions are already all over the place with being pregnant- i would just tell him that you appreciate him letting you move back home & the last thing you want to do is disappoint him but, you really are doing the best that you can right now- and then everyday; try to do a little extra when he is not around- he will notice & he will cut you a break- every time a argument starts- just let him say what he needs to & let it go.. he can't argue with himself! LOL:) wishing you lots of luck with your new baby!

    daisyb

    Answer by daisyb at 12:10 AM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • I have definitely achieved the not yelling back part! Helps when your vocal chords are too swollen to yell back!! HAHA (= I really try to let him know how appreciative I am and usually I would do so much more, my dad's just an actions and not a words kind of guy so I'm hoping for a speedy recovery. Thanks!
    ufollakaitlin

    Comment by ufollakaitlin (original poster) at 12:18 AM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • Maybe find some time for just you and him. Go for a walk and get an ice cream cone and sit on a shady bench in a park and bring it up slowly and gently. Let him know how you are feeling and try to approch it in a Daddy / Daughter sort of way. He IS angry right now despite what you might think about him being supportive. He is angry because he can't protect you from the jerk BF's and the unplanned pregnancies and the job loss and the broken down car. He probably feels like he failed you. So he's making you get up and do stuff you don't want to... cause its what Dads do. When things get rough.... there is yard work to do. Talk to him. Be his little girl for a moment. Let him know that you need him and love him and appreciate his support. Come to a compromise. See if maybe he can give you a list of chores to be done during a week and leave it up to you when to do it..... just an idea. Good Luck!
    1lv2stks3nlz4ev

    Answer by 1lv2stks3nlz4ev at 12:25 AM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • That's very helpful! I hadn't thought of approaching it that way and although I've tried to see it from his perspective I hadn't seen it like that. Thank you!!
    ufollakaitlin

    Comment by ufollakaitlin (original poster) at 12:28 AM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • good luck on your pregnancy sorry ur having a rough time w ur dad.im sure itll get better,just give it time, and if it helps ignore him when he gets mad :) hope your infection goes away soon those are a pain! and good luck w finding a job.:) at least your trying to find a job, right now i believe its hard for anybody to find one, saying extra prayers your way or sending good vibes :) gl!
    luckygirl2000

    Answer by luckygirl2000 at 7:05 AM on Jun. 4, 2011

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