Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Has anyone here have had an abortion? feel free to answer anonymously..

I had an abortion in dec of 2010 and this is one of the worst things I have done in my life. I have not gone a day without thinking what could have been. I was about 7-8weeks at the time. As the due date I was given approaches I am having an even more hard time dealing with it and its to the point where I contemplated suicide but didnt follow through because I have a young child. My heart aches everyday and its harder because I know I was able to take care of the baby but feared my families reaction to me having another child out of wedlock with a man that doesnt love me and doesnt support me or our child we already have. I had no one to turn to when I was going through this hard time and pregnancy and made a rash decision that I was so against. I told myself as soon as I found out I was pregnant that I would not have the abortion but I did.

I know this is touchy subject and know some people may not confess this to me, which is understandable.

Anyone else going through this?

I dont ever want to get over it and accept it but want to know how to deal with it on a daily basis.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:42 PM on Jun. 3, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • I really think you need to join a support group to help you with your feelings. I am pro-live, but understand the necessity of having the option of a safe abortion. I really think that there has to be more counseling given to women contemplating this terrible decision. I cannot tell you how to get over this, but It is important to try. Celebrate your young child and continue to acknowledge your angel baby.

    I have to believe that you are not the only person who has these feelings. Search out support groups and get the help you need for yourself and your family. Also, do not be afraid to share your story with other women. It is important to realize that the decisions we make do impact the rest of our lives. I will pray for you and pray that you find comfort in your heart.

    Answer by bloomsr at 11:49 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • I did. It was for medical reasons, but it was still really hard for me. I chose sparing my tube over my baby's life is what it felt like.

    At first I just took it day by day. I put my mothering energy and my grief toward taking better care of my daughter. That experience taught me that no one ever skips into an abortion clinic and whistles a merry tune coming out. It is heartbreaking and HARD.

    You are not a bad person for this. You need to work on forgiving yourself. What's done is done, and you can't take it back now, you can only move forward. Put this grief energy toward bettering your situation. Dump the loser guy, make a safe haven for you and your child.

    I will say, on the spiritual side, I believe the baby I lost came back to me. I swear that when my son looks into my eyes, we have known each other before. You will bring this baby down when the time is right. PM me if you need to talk. Love to you!

    Answer by Ati_13 at 11:54 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • I am so sorry you regret your decision and sincerely hope you find a way to make peace with yourself. You deserve to be happy and move on with your life. I had an abortion when I was 14. No one wanted me to and I honestly was not sure at first. I had this wonderful, conservative step-Grandmother who took the time to sit with me and help hash out my feelings and what was best for me and a possible new baby. Together she helped me to decide the best decision of my life. After she helped me start over and she helped me forgive myself for being in that situation in the first place. I grew up the day I had that abortion and I changed my attitudes toward relationships and sex. Later in life I got married and had babies, all with Grandma standing with me. She is gone now. I am teaching my girls the same important lessons she taught me. Bloomsr you will be in my thoughts.

    Answer by ochsamom at 11:58 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • not me. My mother tried to make me get one with my oldest daughter because i was a teenager but I just oculdnt go through with it.

    Answer by alboston at 11:58 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • *sorry Bloomsr...I didnt look high enough. I thought you were the poster

    Answer by ochsamom at 12:04 AM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • Sorry you feel this way! I haven't had an abortion but can only imagine the pain it would cause! Just think, you made a mistake. When someone makes a mistake I don't think they should be punished for the rest of their lives for it. The reason for those is to learn, sounds like you have learned. I know girls who have had MULTIPLe abortions because they use it for birth control. As long as you never do it again I think you will be ok, and time will make it better as it does all hurts. God bless you!

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 12:24 AM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • I've never had one but I hope you find the peace with your decision that you're looking for. I would recommend seeing a counselor about it.

    Answer by Vix920 at 12:24 AM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • I had one for much the same reasons as you had one -- and regret it also. My daughter would've been 7 now and I still think of her often. Honestly, the only thing that eased the grieving process for me was when I got pregnant 3 years later and now have a beautiful 4 year old daughter. I would never ever have another one -- that was the worse decision that I ever made in my entire life. You have to just acept that you made a mistake and then learn from it. Since the time that I had one, I have stopped a couple other women from having abortions, so although I lost my own child, I saved 2 others. Do what you have to do to take care of the child you DO have. You cant turn back time, all you can do is learn from it and help others to not make the same mistake that you and I made.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:35 AM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • I did and it was 17 years ago. If you are set in your mind to have than your emotional recovery time might be faster. Looking at the alternative, I regret nothing. The guy still lives in the same town in a trailer park. He is still mean as can be.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:46 AM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • I have. My child would have been turning 9 this month. I can tell you it gets easier. My God, I regret the decision I made every day, and I pray for forgiveness.
    I really wanted to post this anonymously, but I wanted to tell you, OP, to feel free to PM me if you need to "talk". You need to understand that it's ok to mourn your loss. It's ok to give the baby a name and have a little burial if that makes you feel better. You need closure. It's never as easy as anyone makes it sound.
    You need to talk to SOMEONE. If it's someone who is "anonymous" on a computer, fine, or if it's a professional, that's ok too. But talk to someone.
    I know some women are afraid to talk because they are afraid to be judged. Noone has the right to judge you. Not one single person.
    I wish I knew you so I could give you a hug. Please PM me if you need to talk!

    Answer by MedicMommy at 7:01 AM on Jun. 4, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.