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Does this sound fair to you ? adult content

Ok me and my husband got intimate earlier and I didn't have a "O" during sex so wanted to have one after we had sex but since I'm pregnant my body is very sensative and I get uti's easily and when I was 14 weeks I would bleed after sex and my husband doesn't want that to happened again or for me to get infections or for anything to happen to the baby so he said its better to wait till I have the baby to do anything again cus he said its not fair for him to have a "O" and then I don't we haven't really been intimate for a while since I got pregnant I'm 6 months and I have 3 more months to go and he said he willing to wait that long cus he loves and cares about me and the baby .what do y'all think think its fair.

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Asked by alexia_09 at 11:46 PM on Jun. 3, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,972 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Who do you think it is not fair to?
    It sounds like you two are not in agreement.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 11:51 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • buy a vibrator. problem solved.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:52 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • Tootoobusy @ he came up with this plan to wait till the baby is born but right now my hormones are all over the place and my sex drive is back so its kind of me not wanting to wait but I gotta respect his decision so I'm gonna wait the 3 months

    Comment by alexia_09 (original poster) at 11:56 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • You have 3 months of pregnancy, plus at least a month after the baby is born. That's 4 months, not 3.

    You can prevent infections by urinating shortly after you have sex. Works like a charm because it clears the urethra of bacteria that gathered there during sex. Don't wait any longer than 30 minutes and BAM, infection problem solved :)

    Also, orgasms and sex don't do ANYTHING to the baby. It's very common to have some bleeding after sex in the first trimester because the cervix becomes very engorged with blood. It's harmless, unless you have a serious complication (and you would know). I'm a childbirth educator, a doula, a midwife hopeful AND I had the same thing happen to me during both my healthy pregnancies. It's nothing to worry about. Tell your husband that, it sounds like he's really uneducated about it.

    I think it's unfair to both of you to expect to wait 4 months (maybe longer). Educate him!

    Answer by Ati_13 at 12:01 AM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • Im 7 months pregnant :0) My husband and I have been intimate maybe 2 times since I was 3 months along. Its very uncomfortable for me and not enjoyable because of it. My DH has no problem with it he is actually very understanding and feels the same as yours does! Hunny we are just very blessed to have men in our lives that care more about US then sex and thats a great thing. As far as it being fair....of course it is!! Its not like YOU dont want to be intimate, its because your carrying your a baby that both of you created!! We find cuddling and smooching and just being together is just as wonderful, just in a different way :0)


    Answer by lil_momma_vdv at 12:05 AM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • understand also that its not just 3 months that its then another month after that for safety (and ull be bleeding) and even then with all nighters and exhaustion it will take a while to work it back up. when i was pregnant the 2nd time i got uti easily so i would drink a bit and make sure my bladder was full before sex and then after pee and it clears out the tract. also the bottle they give u if u have an episiotomy works well to clean the whole area to keep that from happening. (a small water bottle would work also with a spray tip)


    Answer by takes_a_village at 12:13 AM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • alot of husbands get scared of that. next time you got to the OB take your husband and talk to the OB to help him not be scared. if he still doesnt want to, just take care of yourself ;)

    Answer by ajs16919 at 4:31 AM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • I think it's natural for a man to be queasy or concerned about full contact intercourse during pregnancy. Maybe you could suggest some oral compensation? Just explain to him your hormonal situation/fixation. Back it up with some words of wisdom from your doctor and the pregnancy bible (what to expect when you're expecting). Good luck momma! You could allways take the situation into your own hands?!

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 11:29 AM on Jun. 4, 2011

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