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how do i make himn realize

my husband is such an ass. i mean he will come home and find the littlest thing wrong. this man has not taken out the garbage in like seven years and that is no exaggeration. tonight he got home and did not come in he took the garbage out. and then went to the basement and emptied the ashes from the wood stove. then he came in and started ranting and raving about how noone ever does anything around here and we are worthless and he works eight hours a day seven days a week. well first i came in the house and said to the kids it is garbage night they got their stuff on but he had already taken it out.what can i do or say? he is just being an ass.

 
jodi205

Asked by jodi205 at 9:42 PM on Dec. 9, 2008 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,145 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Disrespeting you and disrespecting your children are HUGE issues that you need to address before that disrespect leads to abuse. Trust me, it does escalate.

    If you feel that this man has some endearing qualities and that you want to salvage your relationship, I would suggest marriage counseling. If he is not receptive, let him know that your relationship is important; but the safety and well-being of the rest of the family is more so. His choice.

    I wish you the best of luck!
    SkyeGirl

    Answer by SkyeGirl at 1:18 AM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • It sounds very much as though he is burned out. overworked. under too much stress. It takes a long time to heal from this, if this is the case. If he could possibly cut back on the work/stress then he might start to feel better. Is there any way you could ease his stress... pamper him, be gentle with him, be supportive. Let him know that you and his family love and appreciate him. Other things to do are to have him get a physical to rule out physical problems increasing his stress, and to seek counseling. Or perhaps something is going on at work that has him really worried and upset so he takes it out on whoever he can, which happens to be you.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:48 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • well ther is more my two older children are not his and he blames them for everthing and calls them names and yes i defend them but this is all just too much for me. he is rude heartless ignorant and selfish i get up early every morning to make his coffee and his lunch get his work clothes out for him put his coffee in a cup and nothing i do is good enough
    jodi205

    Answer by jodi205 at 9:52 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • jodi205 when a man is disrespecting your kids...its time to go. he is only doing what you allow him to do. stressed and over worked my ass. there is no excuse for his behavior.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:00 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • I agree with anon above me. How much further will this behaviour increase before you take action? Abuse to you? Sounds like he's already abusing your kids verbally.
    rhope4

    Answer by rhope4 at 10:36 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • i also agree you need to leave his ass! you shouldnt let no one call your kids names or treat them that way! a father is not suppose to do that! step father or real father.
    momavanessa

    Answer by momavanessa at 11:32 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • i agree as well, he's nothing but a worthless asshole if he wants to take it out on kids! kick him to the curb or make him go to anger management. i'm tired cause i work 24 hours a day and 365 days a year! Being overworked is NO excuse!
    chyna_doll

    Answer by chyna_doll at 11:44 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • You may never make him realize anything.

    Here's my favorite question. If your DAUGHTER was living with someone like this, what would yo tell HER to do?

    Set the example you want your kids to live.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:01 AM on Dec. 10, 2008

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