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Do you get along with your in-laws?

My DH is divorced, so I have MIL and SFIL, FIL and SMIL, and SIL.

I get along GREAT with SFIL and SMIL. Must be the "step" connection (I'm a SM to DH's oldest daughter). lol.

MIL is nice to my face, but VERY rude otherwise. FIL is nice, and we get along in person, but don't usually communicate (we're long distance). Neither MIL nor FIL EVER call to talk to our kids, when/if they send something for the kids for birthdays/holidays, they ALWAYS send it late (as in, after the fact...but they always remember their grandkids close by--we're the only ones long distance)...If I email them for DH or to give them an update on the kids, they never email me back (SFIL emails back, though. SMIL doesn't have email, so I can't email her). They never say THANK YOU for anything we send them from us or the kids (including things like gifts for holidays, pictures, etc). SIL, well, she does the same thing as MIL--nice to my face, but very rude when I'm not there. If I email her, she won't respond unless it's something that she's being nosey about (she will ignore my emails unless she says to email her about what's going, yeah, I'm stopping that). And she acts like she knows everything! Oh, and did I mention that whenever DH goes to see SD, she asks us to plan around HER plans (like birthday parties and such) and not around the schedule that DH has for when he can go see his daughter? Yup, she always asks him to come early knowing he would have to leave earlier (he takes 14 days off of work at a time for that).

I REALLY tried to get along with these people. Really, I did. I grew up with a grandmother who does the same crap as my in-laws, and I didn't want my kids to hurt the way I did thinking my grandparent doesn't love them or care about them. And I saw the relationship my mom had with my grandmother, too (she was my dad's mom). It wasn't nice, AT ALL. I didn't want that. I plan on being with DH for the rest of my life, so I did everything I could to try to start things off good.

Do you get along with your in-laws? How would you handle my situation?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:40 AM on Jun. 4, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Fortunetly I get along great with my inlaws. They are very sweet and always showed me plenty of love. We don't ee them to often though. Maybe 5 times a year if that.

    Answer by alboston at 10:43 AM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • I get along with my inlaws, they're great.

    Keep doing what you're doing. Be polite, put up with what you can & just be nice. Luckily, they don't live take that as a blessing. Maybe you can step back a little & don't return emails, or send things. No reason to reach out to people who don't appreciate it.


    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:46 AM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • I get along with my (future)MIL about 75% of the time, but she has a good relationship with my ds, so I try hard. Even though she is domineering and whiny. As for BIL and his wife, nope. Haven't really spoken to them in almost a year. They are always doing shitty things and starting fights. They like lots of drama. They see ds when he is at MIL's. The reason I don't like them is the way they treat my fiance. They steal, lie, get him involved in fights, gossip about him and have even used his name to get loans. I don't pressure my fiance either way, but I will have nothing to do with them. Sometimes ignoring people is the best option.

    Answer by Shanna84 at 10:55 AM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • I loved my MIL, she passed away from cancer about a year ago. My FIL has a very reserved personality, doesn't talk much, but we get along fine. We're not very close to my BIL & SIL, we get along, but they live their lives in contrast to ours.

    Answer by momov4kids at 10:59 AM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • I have issues that bother me like this as well. My MIL tends to send my daughter really crappy birthday cards for one thing. Like left over cards you get for free from donating money. Say 'Hab for Humanity" for example (because the card said so on it). Or, she'll send a card to her that is strictly religious...the kind that almost makes you think it's for condolences or something. No personal touches. Then, she makes sure that she sends my SS(their grandson) his birthday card to his mothers house. I found out later that, they gave my Ariel $10.00 and gave Ethan $30.00 plus an MP# player with earphones when they were out new. Then I was at my SIL house and saw a birthday card they sent to my niece (their granddaughter) and it was hand-picked just for Katie, was a Hallmark and it even had things she loves on it which we all know is purple and butterflies, and "to our special Granddaughter". It's OBVIOUS to me.

    Answer by KellyGirl_TX at 11:00 AM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • FIL passed away the month before we got married. But we got along really well. (I was with DH for 4 years before marrying him) I adore my SIL. She's awesome. My MIL adores me, and I get along with her well. BUT she's drives me up the wall most of the time. There's a lot of tongue biting and eye rolling when I talk to her. She has been especially annoying since I found out that I was pregnant. She gets offended when I tell her I don't like the names she suggests, then picks one of the ones that I've told her I like to pick apart. And the other day, she actually suggested that I call the doctor and DEMAND an ultra sound before I fly there for a visit because she wants to know what we're having. Even though it's still far too early to tell. (I'm only 12 weeks along) Thank goodness she's clear across the country, because I'm not sure our relationship would be as good if we lived closer.

    Answer by Eviesmommy at 11:06 AM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • A little more....My MIL is extremely nosy and they are both hypocritical. I have seen her get so upset and frustrated when my DH'S great Aunt passed away that she left her million dollar estate to her Grandchildren. She just couldn't STAND it. It drove her nuts. I'm like,..what? That's her legacy!! Those are her Grandchildren, of course she's going to leave them something. She said "" truthfully, I hope most of that money is spent already so they don't get near as much as they THINK they are going to get"". To top that off, I know for a fact that my MIL & FIL tapped his own mother's phone so they could find out WHAT/WHO she was leaving her money too. They are 75'ish, don't own ANYTHING except their vehicle and hop around mooching off relatives until there is bad blood, & there always is! Then they are on to the next. I have a hard time with all of this but I keep quiet. Have you ever???? Good Grief!!!

    Answer by KellyGirl_TX at 11:07 AM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • I don't. I have tried and tried and every door gets slammed in my face. Things were fine, or so I thought, until I got pregnant with our first baby. Then it was how we better do everything their way, that they expected us take the baby to see them twice a month, (they lived in another state and we were broke constantly) how my family was mean to them nevermind that was not true and they had been together exactly twice, how I was mean and tried to keep DH from them and on and on and on. One of them even wrote a letter to DH about how he had changed and cared more about me and our kids than them anymore. That is both disturbing and telling. It's been nothing but years of snide comments and rude behavior. The thing that really seems to gripe them is that I stand up for myself and my kids. That is just unacceptable as far as they are concerned.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:33 AM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • We have no contact with anyone in my husband's family. We are very close to my EX inlaws tho.

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 11:52 AM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • my dh's family with the same with mil's and fil's..there are steps also..I personally do like either side the bio's or the steps lol..we all have a bad past with them trying to minipulate my relationship and cause problems for us..we just cut them out of our lives..they walked off when my sd was 7 and never bother to come about her..they have other grandkids/stepgrandkids and they treat them like gods and my sd like crap..we can even see them in a store in town and they walk right by in return we ignore them it just works out easier for my side..i tell my sd all the time its their loss and her gain

    Answer by jorjiegirl at 12:18 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

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