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2 Bumps

Really?

At the risk of sounding like a stuck up prude, I need to ask a question. I admit that we are all different, have different parenting style etc, different ideas of what is appropriate yadda yadda. I am also aware of a mothers right to raise her kids as she sees fit. Having said that, my question is, do you think that there are certain things you can do that will influence how your child turns out as an adult? Or, do you think it really doesn't matter, they will become who they are destined to become regardless of education, back round, economic status what have you?

Last night my children and I attended a church festival. There was a Latina woman who was less than skinny, wearing spandex pushed to its very limits, wearing hoop earings as big as frizbee's and carrying a bedazzled cell phone and a playboy bunny purse. She had her two sons with her, ages about 5 and 6. These boys were wearing flat billed hats, big gold chains with crosses, baggy shorts, leather high top shoes and Lil Wayne T-shirts.

Here is where I as a prude enter...
I am sorry, but I cannot help but feel that these boys are having a lifestyle set for them that can only lead to destruction. If they were 13 and picking out their own clothes, ok well still not my choice, but at least they aren't being forced to wear it.

I felt really sorry for them. I get it, I do, that we are all different, but don't you think that some parents seem to go out of their way to set the bar low. How many educated people do you see with that "ghetto" look? Excluding entertainers (don't get me started)

I can listen to Lil Wayne all day long, but sorry, by little ones will NOT hear a song called Pussy Money Weed.

Ok, let the bashing start.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:50 AM on Jun. 4, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • There was a study not long ago (as in a couple weeks ago) on yahoo news that stated regardless of how you raise your children their are really already destined to be who they are going to be. That means someone raised looking "ghetto" as you put it can still grow up and be the person who cures cancer. The person playing tennis lesson everyday in a country club and become the next welfare mom with 7 kids living in the ghetto. So I try not to judge.
    My mom is only the 2nd generation to be born legally in this country and she has done well for herself. So has my dad who was born relatively poor. Now they have no worries at all when it comes to money, retirement, what they are leaving us, and they have more class in their little finger then some people who go around and judge others for how they look. They know better I guess.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 12:18 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • And PS the lady wear what she did would simply fall under the category of "Just because they make it in your size doesnt mean you should wear it" ;-)
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 12:20 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • Lol..the song part was finny
    mlmsm928

    Answer by mlmsm928 at 12:21 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • Not bashing i understand the only thing i can think of telling you is when your kids have friends like those boys dont treat them different. treat them like you would any other kid but make sure if they do un acceptable in your house, that is not ok and tell them why. You can be upset at whomever you want for how they are raising their kids but there will always be those people. try and redirect your focus to your kids. kids can scence when you are upset or angry, just hug them a little tighter, and go out of your way to do special things with them. When they are older they will remember you being an active parent and hopefully not pull the "Ghetto" card on their own kids.
    alainalee

    Answer by alainalee at 12:28 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • by the way my biggest quote since spandex came back in style is "Spandex are a privilege not a right" i hate to gag in public at what people are wearing. Before i get bashers. I love the human body nudity can be beautiful, but clothes can be unflattering and some things can not be un seen.
    alainalee

    Answer by alainalee at 12:31 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • The Nature vs Nurture debate has been going on for hundreds of years and will never truly be solved. That being said I do believe that the early formative years shape how we see ourselves and other people. I can tell you my son had a personality from in-utero but personalities change both with age and experience,and with how we respond to our experiences. For example the kid who gets told that he's stupid and should stop talking until he learns how to do it right can either believe it or can try to prove them wrong and that's where the individual aspect comes in to place.
    lizziebreath

    Answer by lizziebreath at 12:38 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • Well I am not going to bash you, but why do you think someone who was not a believer would go to a church festival if they didn't believe in following the right path, fashion is different in different communities, and yes she probably could have made a better choice about her and their attire. I think you are a product of both enviroment and genetics,, I mean look at Jaycee Duggar, kidnapped at a young age, and treated horribly, but all reports indicate that she was a great mother. I love the statement spandex is a privilege not a right,,LOL!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 1:18 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • "but why do you think someone who was not a believer would go to a church festival if they didn't believe in following the right path" i go to the wild west festival at the church down the street from my house and i dont believe in any form of god....but thats besides the point...

    lol OP youd probably say the same thing about me, im the "goth/punk/rocker" mom that has misfits t shirts and Marylin Manson oneses for my soon to be son, he'll probably be walking around with the misfits hair cut if i let my boyfriend do his hair lol
    i do agree with the spandex statement though....O.O
    Lizzypuppylove

    Answer by Lizzypuppylove at 2:06 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • I dont know about any stastics to ansewer your question but i know some real life ppl, i have an aunt and a sister-in-law both were single mother with there first kids- there oldest kids turned out to be very well rounded kid, my nephew went to and graduatied with honors form a very well known private school and worked 3 jobs to put himself threw college, now he has a huge house making a very good living and helps out his mother and father- now both of them have other kids with there new husband and those kids are spoiled brats- they are my faimly and i love them but these woman would have done the youger kids a favor by being more like they were with there first husbands- both my aunt and sister in law are good woman, they dont have alot of money but there older kids have grown up to be well rounded adults- i fell the same way as you when i see parents and kids i wonder if some of us are setting our kids out to succeed or fai
    carol00

    Answer by carol00 at 9:53 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

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