Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Classmate's parents separating/divorce is being questioned by ds...?

first of all, i'm going to call his k-garten teacher today and ask her some things, because i'm wondering what was said at school, if she knows(what may have been said), that is.

about 3 weeks ago, ds came home telling that a classmate's parents were divorcing or separating, and he seemed curiously worried. i asked him a few generic questions(attempting to understand if he understood what he was talking about), and he answered them..and we went about our business.
he's brought it up twice, since then..out of the blue. yesterday, he began transferring his 'worry' and questions towards he, and us/dh/i.
"what will happen if you and dad..?''
"where will i live?"
"if our family splits up...?"

other than ''you don't have to worry; momma and daddy aren't going anywhere, honey.'', how else can i reassure him? what words or phrases should i emphasis? he's very inquisitive, and asks intelligent/thought-provoking questions, so i think he can handle it..yet, he's worried, and it breaks my heart!


Asked by dullscissors at 1:17 PM on Jun. 4, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 49 (343,645 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • just answer his questions as honestly as you can.

    Answer by daerca574 at 4:24 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • Answer his questions as honestly and age appropriate as you can. If he's asking the questions, he's ready for the answers. Kids know when they're being lied to.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 1:33 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • My DS is in kindergarten and this is really the first time we have had to talk about step moms and dads, divorce, and what not,, He asks all the time where would he live IF.. I reassure him that is not going to happen to him, and I promise it with all of my heart, I try to focus on telling him that he should be extra nice to the person going through it, and how sad it is for him, but sometimes mommy and daddy make a mistake in their marriage, but never make a mistake in loving thier kiddos! Now he gets the concept of it.. the other day he was in trouble with his Dad, and he told him,, if you got divorced, I could just go live with Mommy because then you wouldn't be able to tell each other when I do something wrong,, LOL! My husband made a point to tell him that is what telephones are for,, LOL,, don't stress.

    Answer by kimigogo at 1:32 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • I would explain why you and your husband aren't going anywhere. Let your son know you have a strong devotion to each other and to him and your family means to much to you to split up. Good luck to your little guy. (c:

    Answer by scout_mom at 1:34 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • Poor thing, I am sure he sees his friend in class being upset over the situation and that is one thing that worries him. Just be sure to answer his questions when he asks. With my son, I always believed that if he was old enough to come up with the question, he was old enough to have the question answered. It seemed to work for us. Just be sure when answering the question that you continue to reassure him that you and your husband are good and your family is not going to stop being together.  Good luck!


    Answer by Peajewel at 8:05 AM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • I think maybe you should explain divorce a little better. Perhaps if he didnt find it such a scary event he wouldnt worry so much. Like tell him that just because a mommy and daddy dont want to live together anymore doesnt mean that they dont love each other, and it doesnt mean that they dont love their children. Tell him why you and your dh arent going anywhere. Just keep telling him that he doesnt have to worry. Right now, while its fresh in his mind it might bother him, but soon enough itll fade.

    Answer by KristinRox at 10:51 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • Just be honest with him about it all but be very re- assuring that you and his dad love each other very much.

    Answer by AllThatBabyJazz at 1:56 AM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • I agree with Kristin.

    Answer by KamiB79 at 12:07 PM on Jun. 5, 2011