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2 stories in one........???

I do not allow my kids to see their father. I do not allow them to talk to him on the phone bc i do not want my oldest to start asking questions. he doesnt do anything for them. And really never has.. Well i found out my mom has been talkin to their father on the phone and allowing my daughter to talk to him. i think she is wrong! They are my children i raise them ALONE. i do not feel he has any rights to them bc he is such a dead beat father.. am i wrong for not wating her to do that??

New story,
the guy im dating now feels my kids should see their father no matter if hes done for them or not. like i said before i dont see how he has a right to have anything to do with them. we argued over this so many times i eventually gave in and called their dad. he said he wants to see them and will call back with a time and day.. im still waiting on the call. we will see how this works out.. I have giving him more then 3 chances to see them.. I never get diapers, clothes, shoes anything and thats my biggest thing...... i really feel like this is a bad idea bc in the end i know hes not going to see them for weeks after this IF he sees them this time. Should i allow my kids to keep seeing him and as they get older they can decided if they want to keep seeing him.. or should i just keep them from hurt in the long run?? idk what to do...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:30 PM on Jun. 4, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • hugsmama if it were me i probably wouldn't let him see them at all because i wouldn't want them to get hurt when he stops coming around but on the other hand he might change and see them all the time but do what you think is best for your children and i would be really upset with my mom if she did that to me it's not her right or her choice they are your kids and you are going to do what is best for your children hope you figure it all out and things work out 

    mamawilbur

    Answer by mamawilbur at 3:35 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • This is very hard. I would not appreciate mom doing that. How old is the child/children?
    treynlisa

    Answer by treynlisa at 3:33 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • I had the mom who made it very difficult for my father and grandparents to see me. Yes, father was a flake and a deadbeat, but he might have come around if mom had not been such a bitch about things (not saying this is your situation.) When ever I asked about my father I would get nasty or anger laced replies. I stopped asking for a while, but it was hard. All of my friends had 2 parents - together or not - and I just had a bitter, angry mother.

    Don't be like my mom in the handling of things. Try to get him involved with the kids but don't tell the kids that dad might come on whatever day, that way there is no disappointment. You DD wants to talk to her father and does so with grandma. Let them chat on the phone and she can make her decisions when she is older. And be there for her if he does turn out to just be a flake. Your annoyance with him should not be theirs.
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 3:50 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • I don't think it's right to keep kids away from their father, unless of course he is abusive.
    fallnangel93

    Answer by fallnangel93 at 3:36 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • my son is 2 my daughter 3....my daughter is very smart and understands a lot more then ur average 3 yr old..
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:52 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • I would make the plans with him and not tell the kids. If he shows up, great, if he doesn't...they'll never even know. BEing the bigger person, doesn't sound hard inthis situation. The kids will figure out pretty quickly how lucky they are that your the parent they live with. They will know their Dad, and no one will ever resent you for keeping them away. This way no one can put him on a pedestal, they'll know he's unreliable . If the only relationship they have with him is on the phone, then let it be on the phone,. Tell him you will allow this if he will not make any promises to them he can't keep. If he wants to see them it goes through you, and only you. You have all the power right now, broker a semi relationship for the kids sake and you'll be the hero!
    Momof315126

    Answer by Momof315126 at 8:03 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

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