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Why is he doing this?

Legally my ex isn't supposed to cut DD's hair. He was told by my lawyer and agreed not to. This after he butchered her hair before she was 2. So 2 years later and I keep noticing her hair is being cut. It's not a lot, just a trim. Anytime I've cut her hair, I've talked to him about it first. He only sees her 4 days a month. It shouldn't be a priority for him and if he thought it was a failure on my part, I'd like him to say something to me about it. I haven't said anything to him about it, he'll lie or get angry no matter how I approach it. DD has confirmed the haircuts when I've asked her, so I'm not crazy. I just don't understand his motivation. The only thing I can think is he has always been sneaky and he feels like he's getting away with something. Any thoughts?

Answer Question
 
camiam81

Asked by camiam81 at 9:21 PM on Jun. 4, 2011 in Relationships

Level 15 (1,979 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I think you are completely right. he probably does it just to spite you.
    alboston

    Answer by alboston at 9:24 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • He does it just because he knows, it pushes you buttons.
    He knows, it usets you - that's why he does it.
    stop freaking out and he'll stop, doing it.
    I can't say, what small thing, he'll do next to get to you...
    My ex did stupid little things,too.
    Shock him, by actually conplemnting your daughter hair, next time he drops her off. It's pirceless to see the ex stand there with his mouth open.
    Good Luck
    SassySue123

    Answer by SassySue123 at 9:25 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • If you agreed to something it should be respected. If you didnt have an agreement, I'd say it is low on the totem pole in importance. Perhaps you can make sure her hair is freshly cut before she goes to see him.
    ochsamom

    Answer by ochsamom at 9:26 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • I think he is doing it to spite you as well. What a jerk off!
    mlmsm928

    Answer by mlmsm928 at 9:32 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • Legally he cannot? Was that part of the written agreement that the judge signed? Never heard of that.

    Anyway, like PP states, it's probably just to get under your skin. I would tell him that you just got her hair cut when you drop her off and then see what happens.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 9:33 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • I'm not freaking out, I only did that first time. Everyone was asking what the hell I did to her hair. Think the little dutch boy from the paint can.

    Really there's nothing to compliment, it's not enough to notice. I only do because I'm the one that takes care of her hair everyday. I almost want to say something smart ass like thanks for cutting her hair, I don't have the money right now since you aren't paying CS. Then again, I don't want him to think it's okay to cut it and move on to a more noticeable cut or ear piercing.
    camiam81

    Comment by camiam81 (original poster) at 9:33 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • Sounds like spite to me too. Ugh...I just hate the "nit-picky" stuff that goes on after a divorce over the children. Sounds like he knows it bothers you and it's something he can do to aggrevate you but not go to jail for it. That's just immature.
    KellyGirl_TX

    Answer by KellyGirl_TX at 10:13 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • could be spite, could be he likes the hairdresser or is dating one, could be your dd wants them.. could be a number of things.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 10:14 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • He is probably doing it out of spite. Also since he has such a small amount taken off each time it could be he thinks he is 'getting away' with something- cause he probably assumes you don't notice the haircut.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 1:32 AM on Jun. 5, 2011

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