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Is being with someone because they give you everything selfish?

If they love you but you're not sure you feel the same would you still be with them even if you have a family?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:36 PM on Jun. 4, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Selfish, no. Deceptive, yes.

    I couldn't take advantage of another person like that. Unless, they know that you don't have the same feelings and are ok with it.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 9:39 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • I don't understand your question entirely.
    ochsamom

    Answer by ochsamom at 9:42 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • You're saying they love you, you don't think you love them but...they give you everything. right? If there are no children then...that's just kind of taking advantage in a way. Sort out your feelings or move on.
    If you're married, with children and are no longer in love with that person or have fallen out of love or aren't sure.....then you have some things to work out.
    KellyGirl_TX

    Answer by KellyGirl_TX at 9:43 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • The last time part was a little confusing to me "even if you have a family". Do you mean you are separated/divorced with children from a previous relationship? Why are you with this person? Is it only becuase they provide for you? or b/c this person has many qualities that you admire/want to be with. I used to judget that (being solely dependent on someone else financially) very harshly, but the flip side is if you have small children, and have not worked in a few years, the reality is it can be hard to support your family and still be able to spend quality with the children. I wouldn't call that selfish, I call that self-preservation.
    Olivia4116

    Answer by Olivia4116 at 9:44 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • here is a question are you happy with what you gaot with him? family to some concern comes second in the moment. cause if your not happy then your family will see that and the answer is no. if you are happy with someone that buys you evrything then thats okay too. if thats what you want but you should be with a person because you love them not for material things cause remember material things could go away one day and then you wuill have nothing. choose soon then later when it will be much more difficult
    angeleyz375

    Answer by angeleyz375 at 9:44 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • we have children together and he provides for us but I am not sure I love him anymore...
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:47 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • Well we fall out of love and in love all the time after so many years,, Do you LIKE him? Do you think he is a good daddy? Do you have someone else on the side,, hopefully not,, the grass always is greener, and trust me when your 80 having the giddiness of being in love will be the furthest thing from your mind.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 10:06 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • Well then..you have some things to sort out. I wouldn't just STAY with someone because it's easier that way BUT..you have children involved. In that case...you have some real work to do to figure things out. Chances are...if you don't love him..it's eventually going to affect the rest of the family/children on some level because you are unhappy. What's making you think you just don't love him anymore?
    I never let myself get in a situation where I HAD to be dependant on another person to provide entirely for me. Even now..I have money set aside in case something happens. I just never liked how that would feel.
    KellyGirl_TX

    Answer by KellyGirl_TX at 10:10 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • was it selfish in the begining? I mean did you get with him because he bought you everything you ever wanted and showered you with everything you could dream of? Then yes I think it was a bit selfish..

    but if in the beginning you truly loved him and after time it's just faded, then no you aren't being selfish, you are conflicted. Perhaps counceling can help, perhaps not. Try remembering the things that instead made you fall in love with him to begin with and try to explain to him that you miss those things... if he truly loves you'll he'll work to reconnect with you and maybe make you fall in love all over again with him.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 10:10 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • my bf has said some pretty things since i have been pregnant and had my DS.... I know it is probably because he is deployed and has not been here for all this.... but he has really pushed me away. he just pulled an incident last week and i am done. my heart doesnt have any more love to offer that man..... i will be cordial with him for my son's sake.... but that is it.... i have fallen out of love with him..
    kristianmommy

    Answer by kristianmommy at 6:26 AM on Jun. 5, 2011

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