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How do I get my boys to appreciate me? All they care about is dad. I stay at home and my boys are 14 and 9.

 
triumphantmom

Asked by triumphantmom at 9:45 PM on Jun. 4, 2011 in Relationships

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Answers (11)
  • they are boys.... this is normal.... give it time they will come around... they are just at the age where they crave their dads attention and guidance
    kristianmommy

    Answer by kristianmommy at 6:24 AM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • Where are your boys getting this attitude? Just hormones or from good 'ole Dad? If it's hormones/ Media influence, have the Dad convey the message they need to respect mom. If the root of the cause is Dad, then you need to stand up to him in front of the boys a few times to set the tone straight. Most teenagers are shallow and materialistic, unfortunately the value of stay-home moms is not registered in their minds at this age. Next, find something you are passionate about, get back into it. You'll have less time and energy to worry about them. THey might start giving you more respect b/c you are not their beck and call anymore.
    Olivia4116

    Answer by Olivia4116 at 10:04 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • Give your children more responsibilities they will learn to appreciate you real fast! I have four children and have been a SAHM for the past 18 years.  I learned my children knew no different than the life their father and I created for them they figured this is how people lived. Both my husband and I are very involved parents.  When our daughters were 14  and 11their world changed they became "big" sisters to twin brothers.  They learned to be responsible, and that the world did not revolve around them. With responsibility came appreciation for all I have done for them. 

    mommiedear

    Answer by mommiedear at 10:06 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • they are boys and of course they are going to look after their dad as their role model at this age. If you want more respect from them you have to do things THEY like to do. Go take them out to the park to play some football, go fishing with them, take them to a sports game, etc. Bonding is the key reason these boys look up to their dad, because they share common interests. If you stay at home then you have all summer to do fun things with them that they would enjoy.. take them to the skate park, the races, etc. The skies the limit, but be prepared to get a little muddy and rough .
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 10:07 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • I don't think that being a stay-at-home mom has anything to do with your children's behavior. I have seen working moms being humiliated in front of strangers because she forgot to bring her credit card to pay for her son's roller blades. (I used to work at the register) I think that your children's attitude is coming from your dh and the way he is treating you in front of the children.
    Withthreeboys

    Answer by Withthreeboys at 10:23 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • I think this should be Dad's department. You are already doing great. Dad should be pointing out to your boys how much you do and sweet little ways to show their appreciation. He should also teach them to open your doors and pull out your chairs. You know your Hubby is totally up to this challenge. :o)

    ochsamom

    Answer by ochsamom at 9:48 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • Yes, my mother never did stay home, but I remember at that age (well, more 14-17) I had more respect for people who had their own interests and did stuff unrelated to me that was theirs. I didn't really want anybody pouring my orange juice (nice as it is), that didn't mean anything. I wanted a mother with her own opinions, knowledge, friends, hobbies... she had most of those things but sometimes I'd get annoyed because she didn't do enough for herself, stand up to people, etc. which I perceived as "weak" at the time.

    My kids also prefer my husband, but they are much younger (6 and 4). Strangely (considering he plays computer games much more and I play more with them) they have always preferred him. BUT they can learn to be nice to me, he won't let them get away with slighting me (my youngest is attached to me like nothing else- so I don't count her).

    Their dad appreciate stuff you do? If not, try to clue him in first. GL!
    Tracys2

    Answer by Tracys2 at 10:11 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • I must say that your comment about "being a stay at home mom does not have anything to do with it" is probably true. It is hard for me right now because I am kinda going through a "hermit" stage. I do nothing. I dont feel motivated to do ANYTHING. So to begin with, my self esteem is low right now. My husband has tonz of hobbies. I used to love to paint, and write. I am trying to get back into that. One more thing. My oldest is very smart, very "quick whitted"...just like dad. I however am clueless, and slow to get things...you know, like the last one to get a joke. Sometimes I feel like my own son looks down on me, like maybe he's surpassed me in a lot of ways. I am trying to fix the situation now before it becomes unfixable. I need ideas on how to get my son to respect/look up to me.
    triumphantmom

    Comment by triumphantmom (original poster) at 11:10 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • I hope you're right kristianmommy! I'd hate to think it's something I'm doing that's driving them away from me. If it's normal, I can be patient...:(
    triumphantmom

    Comment by triumphantmom (original poster) at 12:45 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • I hope you're right kristianmommy. I'd hate to think that it's something I'm doing wrong that is pushing them away from me. If it's normal, I guess I have to be patient! :(
    triumphantmom

    Comment by triumphantmom (original poster) at 12:46 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

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