Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

5 Bumps

So he finally came back PLEASE ANSWER

Dh went out of town today to hang out with the guys today. All day. He called a few times to ask what I was doing. Well I am a sahm so I do the same thing everyday. Kind of irritating to be asked what I am doing. So I am trying to tell him I am ready for my break now. I don't get to go out with friends or even just go to the park and stare off into space and clear my head some. I get that he is stressed out. He actually told me he doesn't think I need a break that he doesn't care about me getting a break. And now guess what he says he is mad at me. I plan on showing this to him so that he can see that it is perfectly normal for me to want a break too sometime. He has gotten to hang out with his friend 4 times in the last 5 weeks I just want to know when is it my turn.

Answer Question
 
treynlisa

Asked by treynlisa at 10:25 PM on Jun. 4, 2011 in Relationships

Level 20 (9,618 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I would just tell him that on X day, you are going out with X and he will be expected to stay with the kids or find a babysitter. No exceptions!

    What a selfish jerk!
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:27 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • He gets a break from the kids, so YOU get a break from the kids... period!! He see's hid friends, what on earth makes him think you don't also need time with friends?? What an ass!!

    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 10:35 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • I totally agree. My hubby works a hard job and on his days off I want to go out to the mall, lunch or whatever. And hes always really tired on his days off so he would prefer to stay at the house. But I stay home all day. And I know I'm a sahm but I think I should deserve time to go out and please myself. Being a sahm doesn't mean you get noooo time to yourself what so ever. Men sometimes think "oh you don't do much all day" when in fact we do A LOT! Its not easy what we do! So you need to make some arrangements with him. You deserve to go out and he should take care of the baby at least an hour once a week! Ask him if that seems to hard!
    KiraStadnik

    Answer by KiraStadnik at 10:36 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • You should be able to go have lunch with a friend, or shopping, etc, just to decompress. It should NOT be up to him if you do though. It should be mutual between the two of you. Not a matter of permission from him. It's very selfish of him to think you don't need a break. I would make it very clear to him that you will be making a point to get out of the house once a week without kids, and he will be the one to be at home with them. Let him read this, and if he gets upset about it, then he needs to wake up, because my Hubby understands that being a SAHM is the hardest job someone can have!
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:37 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • Girl I would tell that joker I am going to the grocery store and wont come back until midnight after an evening with the girls. Whats he gonna do be mad? looks like he gets mad over stupid stuff any way so who cares. Go have yourself a kick ass time!!!
    alboston

    Answer by alboston at 10:40 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • Jerk! Every SAHM I know has a man like this. I'm a single mom and I work full time. I love my DD to death, but honestly I feel like being at work is much easier than being home with her. ISome days at home are tough. No one at work yells at me or demands 100% of my time or effort. I get breaks dedicated for me time. I don't have to guess at someones expectations or deal with temper tantrums simply because someone is tired. You deserve some time to yourself. Find the article that shows your salary should be like $100k a year, you work your butt off mama, go out and have some fun without the kiddos!
    camiam81

    Answer by camiam81 at 10:42 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • That is so selfish and self centred of him! WOW! Sounds like he wouldnt have the slightest idea of what its like to be at home all the time with the kids, sounds like he needs to learn, I wonder if he could last 1 whole day, let alone everyday!!! You NEED a break for you to be able to parent well, no break you start to loose patience with children and you arent as effective as a Mother, this is something you need to take a stand on, cause he can only do this if you let him, when he gets home I would be leaving!!!!!!!!!!! When I was staying at home with my daughter as soon as my husband came home even from a hard days work, he would take over and I would get out of the house, often everyday....even if it was 5 mins down the rd to sit in Starbucks and have a coffee on my own.......clear my head for 40mins- an hr even, I needed it and I was blessed that he knew I needed it to. I would be having serious words to him about this! GL
    Princess_s21

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 10:45 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • I think you should "create" a bill, sometimes men don't value stay at home mom's until they realize what they would spend if you died, or decided just to run away,, lol,, here goes my bill
    12 hour child care per day in home-- $120 per day
    laundry service per week- $150
    maid (live in) $1,500 per month
    hooker on call_ $500 per service
    Now you know that I am joking but honestly tell him you will be going out,, to where ever on x da for x amount of hours, or better yet, hire a babysitter and go on a date night, only after you have gotten a mani/pedi while he watches the kids during the day for a few hours.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 11:11 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • "This is my job, that is your job....When is my weekend?" That's what got it through my DH's head. MOMS ARE PEOPLE TOO!!!
    cueballsmom

    Answer by cueballsmom at 11:16 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

  • I would not do any house work for 3 days and on the 4th day I would leave him and the kids to deal with it. Sorry you think I do nothing and do not need a break than you do what I do for a day.

    Alanaplus3

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 11:28 PM on Jun. 4, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN