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This is long but i REALLY need some words of wisdom, advice, anything. Why do I care that he has a girlfriend, its been almost 3 years since we broke up

why do i even care so much?
i was with jarrod for 3 years when i was 16 until i was 19. when i was 19 i broke up with him because it was long distance and he wasn't around, he never called me or anything. so i broke upw ith him. i started dating this guy and was with him two months. he was my "first" and i got pregnant. I had my twins when i was 20. from the time me and jarrod until we started talking again was like 9 months (just before my pregnancy was over) we've been pretty good friends since then. we've had ups and downs. he's still had feelings for me and i have had feelings for him, but never been back together. im 22 now.
but like he's not right for me like, at this point in his life. he lives in ohio (i'm in wa) we're both college students but he doesn't understand what it takes to be a parent he's soo immature and selfish.

hes been one of my bestfriends since we met before we were dating. but now he's dating someone. and the thing is he didnt tell me like, if we're bestfriends why doesn't he EVER tell me ANYTHING about his life!? this is one thing iv'e battled since just before the break up. im always like you never talk to me ever like about real shit its just chit chat and joking around. if we're bestfriends why doesn't he ever TALK to me about stuff. i'm always the last to know shit. like one of our really good friends was going to go visit him for the first time from florida to ohio and i was so excited for them about the whole thing and one day i found out from facebook that she had been there for a few days and im like UH WHY DIDNT ANYONE SAY ANYTHING TO ME SO I COULD BE HAPPY FOR YOU like. its not like i expect him to go out of his way to inform me of everything he does but we had talked those days why wasn't he like omgsh im so happy piff is here? he said something about nto wanting to make me jealous?

and so the other day that same friend, piff, texted me and was upset so i asked what was wrong and she goes into this whole big thing about how she has liked him for a long time so shes upset that he is dating his friend elenor. piff says elenore knew that piff liked him. but elenore doesn't care about piffs feelings basically and shes being rude to piff about it.

my question is
why am i so out of the loop again. i ask him how his day was, all the time, why was he never like its good im so happy i have a girlfriend now~ or like anything. why doesn't he want to share anything with me ever?

hes' comign to visit me in a few weeks and right now i wish he had never bought plane tickets because i knew this rollar coaster of drama would follow me talkign to him again.

but why do i care he has a girlfriend? (aside from the fact that ive never liked her) why am i always out of the loop? what should i do should i confront him and make his visit awkward? i just have this knot in my stomach because im so sick of assuming i'm his bestfriend and someone special to him because thats what he says, and then feeling like im just this annoying "friend" that tags behind because no one ever really talks to me about anything.

im a mess i know i just dont have any other outlet to talk about this because the only other best friend i have is so sick of the drama with jarrod and our ups and downs she wont let me talk to her about it all anymore and i dont blame her because its tiring

Answer Question

Asked by ElsaSalsaaa at 1:21 AM on Jun. 5, 2011 in Relationships

Level 20 (9,139 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • Honey a man like that does not like to b commited. Plz apart from him. He will b no good to ur life. U have kids to worry about. Set an example. If u want my opinion.

    Answer by Autiziumom at 1:47 AM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • Unless you are entertaining the idea there might be a relationship between you to rekindle (it kinda sounds like it) Leave him alone and move on with your life. You want him back as a boy friend in your heart, that's why the whole "he doesn't talk to me, he hides his girlfriend" gets to you. Either fess up to him and go from there, or let it go.

    Answer by cueballsmom at 3:56 AM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • I see alot of women treat men this way... They have no female friends, but tons of guys in the 'friend zone' or 'on the shelf'. It's a clear sign of low self esteem. Your guy friend needs the approval/attention of many women to validate his own self worth. This is not a friendship! This man is keeping you on a leash. At best you are his back up plan/fall back girl. Dump this relationship now. Tell him to eat those plane tickets cause you're done with his drama. When you've finished with all that take some time to evaluate how you've allowed this kind of guy into your life. You don't want to repeat this mistake!

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 11:26 AM on Jun. 5, 2011

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