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I did it...

Made a post awhile ago that my DF didn't want an child and I did. I thought there was a way for me to get over my desire to be with him. Well I guess not.

Today I told him to expect this to be temporary because I can't spend my life with him. I then changed my facebook status from engaged to in a complicated relationship.

He told me that this just shows that I don't really love him because if I did, I would be with him regardless. I said that I could say the same thing for him. If he really loved me, he would lose his desire and have a child with me.

He is now not speaking to me and I'm not really okay with it. It annoys me to no end. But whatever, I guess. Maybe it's time to move on.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:56 AM on Jun. 5, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I saw your previous post. I am sorry it is working out that way. He's being a douche. If you can't get what you need from him, there is absolutely no need to have a life of disappointment because of him. Like I said before, if he wants to make this a deal breaker, then he is not right for you.
    cueballsmom

    Answer by cueballsmom at 3:50 AM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • He's giving you the silent treatment as if this was an argument. It's not!

    This is you being honest about your wants and needs for your future. If you cannot be with him, knowing that he may NEVER change his mind, then it's best to move on.

    I left a 5yr relationship because he didn't want to have kids. We were never engaged because of that. It hurt like hell but we both moved on. I met SO 1yr later and got prego w my first son a yr after that. Now, I'm on baby #2! My ex's jaw almost dropped when I saw him and I was prego with my first. It was kinda funny.
    Vero0724

    Answer by Vero0724 at 2:02 AM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • That's one of the first questions I ask when dating a man....people don't change women have this idea that over time a woman can change a mans mind or ideas its not wrong of him.....just like ur not changing your mind for him ...I knew a girl in the same situation and after 7 years she spermjacked him just didn't take her bc lol....yeah yeah its selfish and horrible but thought it was relevant to the post ....just give it time heal move on and try to find a man that wants the same things out of life that you do
    Anastacia1988

    Answer by Anastacia1988 at 2:29 AM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • First I have to echo the sentiment above. Good for you for knowing what you want and putting it to him in a way so there is no question. After two marriages I can tell you that it's 100% true you can't change someone. Not knowing your age, it's possible he may mature and realize what he lost, but not always and you know what you want and wanting to be a mother is a big deal and not something you should compromise on. There are things you compromise on, like he wants the brown leather sofa for his "man cave" and you want a soft palette and a craft room. Wanting a family isn't something you can compromise on, in my opinion.

    I have to say though, the whole Facebook thing probably stung. I'm so not a fan of that Facebook option because too often it's used to slap at a S/O. Not saying that's what you did here at all, just saying in general it sucks.
    jandshyne

    Answer by jandshyne at 3:50 AM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • It turned into a deal breaker. He wouldn't budge and after a lot of thought, I decided I couldn't budge either. The silent treatment put the icing on the cake. He will never change and neither will I. So in two hours, we went from engaged to it's complicated to single and no longer friends on facebook and probably not in real life either since we aren't speaking. It bothers me since it's 5am and I still haven't been to bed... But I'll get over him and he will me. We can both move on to our own happy lives with the things we want. :)
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:43 AM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • You can't change him, and you're not willing to change. Obviously this relationship is over. Don't waste another minute! However be respectful and break the news to him before you change your status on facebook.
    Ms.Gwen

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 11:16 AM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • I did.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:13 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

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