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Does it matter that she is a lesbian??

My SO and I got into an arguement last night and he left for the night. My "lesbian" cousin told me he stayed with her last night but when I asked him where he stayed he said his grandma's house. When I confronted them both together, my cousin denied ever saying that. Point blank, I kicked them both out of my house since neither would fess up about lying. They are both good friends, we all went to school together but part of me is concerned because she has had her share of sleeping with guys. You can tell she is a female but she has a lot of male qualities. Dresses like a man and everything. I'm unsure if i'm more upset about the lying or that he may have slept over another females house. I feel like even if nothing happened, it is deception and almost like cheating. I don't know but it hurts to think about it. Is it still wrong to spend the night with another female even if that female claims to be a lesbian?? I haven't talked to either since kicking them out so I still don't know the truth or any details.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:10 AM on Jun. 5, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Wow its a hard situation because we dont know the people involved, the fact that he liked about it and said he stayed at his grandmothers would be the part that would stick out to me, if there was nothing to hide why would he lie.
    Princess_s21

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 3:30 AM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • I think the lie is the worst part of it. The lesbian factor may or may not be part of it. If she really is a lesbian, then there isn't anything between them, but the lie is the part I'd be upset over.
    musicpisces

    Answer by musicpisces at 3:44 AM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • reads as if this all about you and your insecurities! He should not have lied, especially if it was a platonic and chaste situation!!!!!!! Although from my experience........men will lie about stupid shit like that if they believe that they will get shit about it from their girl, simply to avoid to confrontation and/ or argument over something so ridiculous that really just stems from their girlfriends insecurities! I am just telling you like it is girl, I know men inside and out and I understand how they think. Most likely you have given him reason to lie and jsut do what comes naturally to him as a man, NOT THAT I AM CONDONING this behavior in any way whatsoever!!!!! I definitely am not (I do not accept lies of any sort from my SO)!!!! I just hope to school you a bit on the male psyche is all.
    truthteller0722

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 4:11 AM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • I would not be able to get over the lies from both of them. That alone signals something is wrong.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 9:46 AM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • Little Dumb lies hide bigger truths. Listen to your gut girl, and demand honesty in your relationships.
    Ms.Gwen

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 10:43 AM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • reads as if this all about you and your insecurities! He should not have lied, especially if it was a platonic and chaste situation!!!!!!! Although from my experience........men will lie about stupid shit like that if they believe that they will get shit about it from their girl, simply to avoid to confrontation and/ or argument over something so ridiculous that really just stems from their girlfriends insecurities! I am just telling you like it is girl, I know men inside and out and I understand how they think. Most likely you have given him reason to lie and jsut do what comes naturally to him as a man, NOT THAT I AM CONDONING this behavior in any way whatsoever!!!!! I definitely am not (I do not accept lies of any sort from my SO)!!!! I just hope to school you a bit on the male psyche is all.


    WOW----CRAZY MUCH TRUTHTELLER?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:24 AM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • Just the fact that they both lied to you is enough...they are obviously hiding something. Maybe he slept with her, maybe he slept over at someone elses and she is covering for him...who knows? Either way...they LIED!
    mommydinasaur

    Answer by mommydinasaur at 3:43 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • What would get me is that they both felt the need to lie about it-- he lied where he was, and she now denies what she said to you. That would make me wonder if something could have happened between them (espcially if she has been with men before). I would consider calling the grandma and asking her if he stayed there, or call a few people that know him/cousin and casually ask them if they had heard anything about that night in question and see what they have to say.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 4:14 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

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