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Should I investigate?

Okay, I lost my dad on May 25, 2011. He died from congested heart failure. Four days before he died, my mom and I were visiting him. Two male nurses came in and asked us both to leave so they could bathe him. My mom and I proceded to the waiting room and waited there for over 30 minutes. The two male nurses never came back out to notify us that they were done bathing my dad, so once we realized it was taking too long, we went on back to his room on our own. They were done bathing him, but the two nurses were not in the room, and my dad was very upset. He was not upset like this before we left the room. One of the male nurses returned to the room, and my dad became very upset. The male nurse walked up to my dad's bed to check my dad's bedpan. My dad looked up at him and this is what he said to the male nurse. "Jeff I thought you were my friend, I can't believe you did that to me Jeff". He kept repeating it, and he started to cry. I asked Jeff what he meant, and Jeff walked out the room without giving me a reply. I know my dad is gone now, but I can't get this out of my head. Should I investigate, or leave it alone?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:02 AM on Jun. 5, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • I have no advice other than what was given to you and I'm not normally a violent person but I sooo want to find Jeff and kick his a$$ for you. Your story pulled at my heartstrings. I am sorry you have to go through this, I can only imagine what you're feeling. Definitely investiage, things are too fishy.
    marine_wife0520

    Answer by marine_wife0520 at 2:51 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • Yeah I would or you will always wonder. I would go and ask to see his file and see what was done and what orders the nurses were given on that day pertaining to your dad, specifically at the time you were there. It might be nothing, but it will put your mind at rest even if it was nothing. Alot of time when it becomes time for them to pass they do act out more. No one knows why. My grandma died in 2002 and we had some similiar situations but none of us left the room even when asked. I wasnt there, but I know she was never left alone my family told me. So call and ask to speak to a nurses supervisor and then ask for his file.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 10:06 AM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • Wow! I didn't know you could ask for a nurses's file? Can I really? What if they ask me why I need it? Then what?
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:09 AM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • I'd be finding Jeff! Something doesn't sound right there! I would contact him and if he didn't give me answers then I'd contact his place of employment to set up a meeting. If it's bothering you this bad then i would want some answers so you can get past it.
    anichols1

    Answer by anichols1 at 10:10 AM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • I WOULD SO INVESTIGATE. THEY DID SOMETHING TO HIM, I AM NOT SURE HOW OLD YOUR DAD WAS BUT YOU KNOW YOUR DAD BETTER THEN ANYONE AND SOMETHING SURE DOESN'T ADD UP THERE. IT SURE SOUNDS LIKE THERE WAS SOME TYPE OF ABUSE GOING ON AND THAT IS BS. DID YOU EVER QUESTION YOUR DAD TO WHAT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT?
    jenn4443

    Answer by jenn4443 at 10:12 AM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • Thank you guys so much. I'm going to the hospital tomorrow to request some answers, and sat up a meeting with this nurse. Can I take this to a lawyer as well to get some help?
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:13 AM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • My mom asked my dad what the nurse had done, and he was crying so bad that he just closed his eyes and went to sleep. Get this too I forgot to mention this. The day he died, my mom was sitting in the room with him, and my mom always visited my dad everyday, and they would ask her to leave around 6pm. On May 25, the day he died, they told my mom to go home and get some rest so my dad could rest. My mom was supicious because they never asked her to leave around this time of day(1pm). My mom left, and right when she put her key in her front door, her cell phone rang, and the hospital told her to come back because there has been a change in my dads condition. When we got there they told us he had passed. Why did they make my mom leave at a time they never asked her to leave before is beyond me, but something was done to my dad. I really believe something happened to him.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:19 AM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • also if you have to be a b**ch then do so, let them know that this wasn't normal behavior for your Dad. and since you know they one guys name that really helps. chances are they will lie about whatever really happen, and the only problem you have is that your Dad can't tell them what really happened. but yes you can find out if they have ever been investigated before. Stand your ground and don't let them make you believe your Dad was nuts.
    jenn4443

    Answer by jenn4443 at 10:19 AM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • They will deny it, but requesting the nurse's file to make sure he has no other complaints is a great idea. My dad never complained wen he was here and sick. This is why I know that nurse did something to him. I feel so bad because I feel like I let my dad down, but I'm going to get to the bottom of this really soon, starting tomorrow, thanks jenn4443 for your advice.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:24 AM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • Your Mom never should have been told she had to leave. She has every right to stay there even if it was 24 hrs a day. that is her right. I have worked in healthcare for a long time so i do know what the patients rights are, i can see her stepping out of the room for a reason but even then she doesn't have to if it was ok with your Dad. They can't force them to do anything they do not want. look up patients rights.
    jenn4443

    Answer by jenn4443 at 10:27 AM on Jun. 5, 2011

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