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2 Bumps

My Ex

He lives 126 miles from where we live. We have 2 boys together, and he wants me to drive halfway to meet him on his visits. He's way behind on support, doesn't carry court ordered ins, and moved out of state without informing the court, when we were going through our divorce. I was granted sole physical custody, and he just has visits at my discretion. Would you drive that far so he could see them, or would you insist that he drives all the way to pick them up 2 weekends a month? Just curious to see what ya'll would do. Thanks. BTW, I have been driving half way for 4 yrs now, and getting ready to change it.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:09 PM on Jun. 5, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • No, I would not! He chose to move so far away, so why should you make it 'easy' for him and drive half-way? If he really wants to see his kids and have them on 'his turn' he needs to provide the transportation- both ways! I'd tell him "It was YOUR choice to move-- w/o informing the court, you are behind on support, and so far have not supplied the court-ordered insurance. I have been doing the driving for four years now.... and I am DONE with it! IF you want to see the kids when it is your turn then YOU will be the one who will pick them up at (kids house, or neutral spot in town) and you will bring them back as well! If you don't like it... too bad!" I'd also consider turning him in to my lawyer/ the court for not supplying the required insurance and for being behind on child support.He helped create those kids, he needs to get off his backside and help support them!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 3:30 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • I wouldn't do it. He chose to move so far away, he isn't following any of the court orders, he doesn't pay child support, etc. etc. etc. I would NOT go out of my way for someone who has shown over and over again that his children are not a priority in his life.

    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 3:11 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • Not until he catches on the support then he can make the long ass drive himself.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 3:21 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • I would have your ex drive all the way to see them. If he really wants to his kids then he should want to drive to see them.
    kitty12

    Answer by kitty12 at 3:47 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • I'd leave the traveling up to him, if he really wants to see his sons than he'd make the effort. You're already giving him visitation and letting him get away with not following the court orders; he should be thankful you don't file a contempt of order against him for every time he doesn't pay his support. I'd understand traveling half way if he'd just moved and needed time to get things in order to be able to pay for the travel expense - if he was following court orders and if the two of you had a more civil relationship but he's had plenty of time of sort out his side of things and there is no excuse for him to not be paying his support or for him to need you to meet him half way.
    anon1986East

    Answer by anon1986East at 5:19 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • i would be in agreement to saying to him -- gas has gotten to expensive and you are waaaay to far behind on your CS for me to continue to drive 1/2 to meet you to take the girls to you. In the future you need to do the traveling yourself.
    MamiJaAyla

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 8:02 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • I don't see what the problem is with driving an hour, half way, to let your kids see their father.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 2:13 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • did he just move? If yes then no way would I do it, but if this is the same amount of miles you have been travelling for 4 years then it would be wrong to change that for your kids sake
    shivasgirl

    Answer by shivasgirl at 2:18 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • I think he should make the sacrifice, he's decided to let us take on full financial responsibility, so why make it easy on him? The cost of fuel isn't going down anytime soon. We are self employed and pay our own insurance, and my Hubby works very hard so I can be a sahm. The ex lives with his mother, and has been for yrs now, so I think he should have to take on some responsibility.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:28 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • On what you said.. I would not do it. (the driving). I would not let him come get the kids either. Sense he is not doing what the court said. Or informed the court of the move. You said visitation was at your discretion,,,make him come visit at your house. That's all.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 3:37 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

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