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I thought she was my BEST friend..

I just got married last month. Of course I had ALWAYS talked about my best friend coming to my wedding. We decided to get married at the JP. I live in another state as my best friend so she couldn't come BUT I told her a million times and always talked about how we were going to have a celebration in VA (which is where my family and she lives). As soon as I knew the date...which was WELL in advance....I told her. i said keep that date open!! She was so siked about it. Well...a couple weeks before I was telling her details about the big day. She goes "Oh shit...John and I have plans that weekend to go to WV!....It's not something I can cancel on." I felt so upset with her because I know they go camping all the time!! And if it was her I'd drop that and go to my best friends wedding! Esp if I knew about it for so long! Then, not that I'm mad that she hasn't done this but it does make me wonder....she is all about giving people gifts esp for weddings,showers, birthdays...she knows where we registered and she didn't even say anything. It was just the thought that would have counted ya kno? I forgot to add that we have been best friends since middle school...almost 10 years.

There's something else that kinda bothers me too. She just moved in with her boyfriend. She hasn't even said "Hey you gotta come see our house!" No, nothing like that. Also, she has a group of friends and has never invited me to hang out with them. Yet, she knows all of my friends. I don't get it!!! Also, she just recently told me a story about having to watch her parents' dogs for the weekend. She told her parents that she HAD to go to this girls birthday party bc it was her 21st. So, I know that if she really wanted to come she would. UGH!

Do you think this is shitty of a best friend? Or am I overreacting? I almost feel like she isn't TRULY my best friend. Why am I not even apart of her life? It's been like this before I even went off to college. This sucks :(

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:01 PM on Jun. 5, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • hugsThat SUCKS!!! Probably time to get a new best friend!!


    Answer by mkdirector2011 at 7:05 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • People grow apart over time and perple change. My true best friend is my hubby. I have other friends I hang with time to time but not one steady BFF.

    Answer by txnmomof4 at 7:06 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • People drift apart as you journey through life, and sometimes you re-connect later. To me it sounds like she's drifted into a place in her life that doesn't include you so much now, but she is still very important to you. Maybe her friends are not the sort of people she thinks you would like; maybe she's distracted with a lot of her own stuff right now. If you're comforable taking a back seat for a while, just keep in touch but let the friendship go a bit, maybe you'll reconnect in years to come. But if it's distressing to you, try asking her about it. The lovely thing about our woman friends (compared to men) is that most are fairly comfortable talking about relationships and treating the relationship with respect, as well as the friend, so perhaps if you tell her you're feeling a little left out of her life, she might include you more.

    Answer by judimary at 7:09 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • that stinks :( sorry to hear it HUGE HUGS

    Answer by djavongirl at 7:12 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • yeah, I kinda figured we had drifted apart a little. But even before I moved away, it was like this. She has been with her boyfriend for 5 yrs and I have never hung out with them and their group of friends. She has been with my friends and my husband(then boyfriend) to hang out. I just don't get it.


    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:16 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • Sorry, girl. The part that sucks, the part that has taken me several years to figure out is that she may be YOUR best friend, but she may have another, besides you, or with you. It's just part of it, I suppose. Something we all have to deal with. Congrats, BTW!

    Answer by matobe at 7:21 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • That does suck and I don't think she is a "real" best friend either.

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 7:47 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • Sometimes friends grow apart as thier lives change and they grow in opposite directions. I know it can hurt, but maybe it's for the best.

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 8:39 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • "She has been with her boyfriend for 5 yrs and I have never hung out with them and their group of friends." So you've not seen her much in 5 years? if she's got a new circle of friends and you've never hung out with them, then I'd say she's moved on.

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 1:16 AM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • ItsMe89....yes we hung out all the time...but I'd never actually hang out with her group of friends. She is single with no kids. I think that was part of it. I have one DD who is almost 3 and I'm married with another one on the way. Having single friends with no kids is hard when you have your own.

    It's whatever Ill just let it be and see what happens

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:03 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

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