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3 Bumps

Mom loves me right?

Your mother is the one supposed to love you most in the world. ... then why does mine lose it on me so badly. Especially of dumb things. No one has ever gotten mad at me the way she does. For example: she may not like the way I ask for an address. She will tell me she didn't like my tone and hang up on me. It is that simple. If I call back to inquire, she screams at me. I am so shaken up this time. I know it will not stop, that is who she is. I do not want to distance myself from her, but I think I have to. This is lunacy. What do you think?

 
ochsamom

Asked by ochsamom at 8:17 PM on Jun. 5, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 22 (12,399 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • Some moms just are not the best moms. They forget you are not 5 anymore (not that she should have spoken to you in that tone at 5 either)and that mentality never goes away. She probably wouldn't realize she does it or would see nothing wrong with it if you confronted her. As our parents age many become even harsher because of their inabilities to do the things they once could do. They have trouble even remembering things.
    It's time to distance yourself for a while. If it continues like you say it will you will have the choice to confront her with it or to forget it and always wonder why she did it.
    Just don't think it's you, it's not it's her inability to communicate in a proper way.
    itsmesteph11

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 8:24 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • Honestly, I think your mother is a bitch. Some people just aren't "mom" material. My biological mother wasn't cut out to be a mom, so I do understand this. I finally couldn't handle the up and down crazy ass drama anymore and cut her out of my life about five years ago. For me, it was such a relief when the constant tension and drama were gone.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 8:20 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • I would distance myself.
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 8:18 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • your mom needs to respect you and you should teach her how to respect you, that doesn't mean she will take heed but you can certainly distance yourself from her.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 8:20 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • It's hard because we feel like we sort of HAVE to have them in our lives. I cut my mother out when I was 15 (I lived with my dad), and then stupidly tried to let her back in my life when I turned 18. I thought maybe we could have a more successful relationship when we were both adults and not living under the same roof. I rode the crazycoaster for another 9 years before I finally let go for good.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 8:26 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • wow, i'm sorry to here you havet to go through this. i know that it may be hard but i would distance my self for sure. you dont need to be talked to like that.
    2breath2live

    Answer by 2breath2live at 8:44 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • At least you HAVE a relationship with your mother. Mine abandoned me when I was a baby and has had nothing to do with me. But she did have another child that she raised.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 8:30 PM on Jun. 5, 2011

  • Of course she loves you, but we are not perfect, if it disturbs you so much, lay a bit of distance, but do not cut off completely.
    older

    Answer by older at 12:34 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • (((((HUGS))))) ochsamom. Yep, I've had several mom figures in my life that were miles better than the woman who gave me life. It just kinda gets to me sometimes that she had the balls to walk away from me as an infant, tell my father that he'd never see me, then 4 years later have another child that she chose to raise. But, has made little to no effort over the years to get to know me, then has the audacity to blame me for our lack of relationship. *kicks self off of soapbox*

    I would give a little distance between you and your mom. Something like "Mom, I love you dearly but I WILL NOT let you continue to treat me as poorly as you do".
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 12:43 PM on Jun. 6, 2011

  • sounds like maybe... just maybe there is the beginning of a mental illness happening? Extreme mood swings are not normal, mother or not
    hollydaze1974

    Answer by hollydaze1974 at 11:21 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

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